The three keys of the master sexual trainer are:
#1 Appreciate
#2 Communicate
#3 Incubate
Men and women might appear to face different challenges around experiencing a heightened enjoyment of sex. For example, the challenge for men is that they sometimes want it so much that they are willing to get into trouble to have it, whereas a woman’s challenge is that she may hardly want it at all. And while the challenges often manifest differently for men and women, you’ll see they come from the same source.
What kinds of challenges keep her from loving sex?
It’s well worth taking a moment to tap into the range of concerns that women experience around sex. Even if some of these topics don’t apply to you or your lady today, they might have at some point (and therefore might surface again). Here is a checklist of issues that may be of concern for her continually or on a particular day, followed by one or more Keys to Sexual Training that address this concern.
o Sex (or the thought of sex) makes her feel vulnerable, perhaps unsafe. Keys: Appreciate, Communicate
o She has not been taught much about sexual pleasure—hers or in general. Keys: Communicate, Incubate
o She is more emotional about sex than you are. That means she needs to feel cherished/adored/loved to feel like having sex. Key: Appreciate
o She doubts her attractiveness and her ability in bed. Keys: Appreciate, Communicate
o She may be ashamed or embarrassed about sex. Key: Appreciate
o She doesn’t know how her own body works sexually. For example, she might not recognize when she’s turned on, or how to access the inner pathways to orgasm. Keys: Appreciate, Communicate
o She’s not able to express or articulate her own wants and needs very well (she might not even know what they are). Keys: Communicate, Incubate
o She doesn’t know how to get to that state that combines relaxation and arousal—so important for fully enjoying sex. Keys: Communicate, Incubate.
What challenges keep you from really enjoying sex, and being an effective sexual trainer?
Despite the stereotype that a guy will do anything for sex, many men also face challenges to asking for, giving, and receiving all the sexual pleasure they would like. What are some of your challenges?
o You are wondering how to bring up the topic of sexual training. Key: Communicate
o You hesitate initiating new discussions about training. She feels you’ve asked for “more sex” so many times that you’re not even allowed to bring it up any more. Keys: Communicate, Incubate
o You’re concerned that if you engage in training, you’ll “spoil the mood.” Keys: Appreciate, Communicate
o You are leery about the accuracy of your partner’s communication—and for good reason! She often doesn’t communicate accurately or consistently. Keys: Communicate, Incubate.
o Vulnerability is not just for women. Maybe you’ve been burned in the past, so now you’ve got your own doubts and fears. Keys: Appreciate, Communicate
o You’d be a sexual trainer in a heartbeat… once you were confident that you could do it well. Key: Communicate
Why is she going to love being trained by you?
- You’ll show her you are fully there (present and attentive) for her.
- You’ll reassure her that you feel her turn-on—even if she’s still searching for it.
- You’ll make it safe and exciting for her, and value her feedback.
- In return, she’ll get the message that you mean business… you are going for the gold… her gold!
- Do all this… and she will naturally want to learn even more… including what you like to give… and receive.
Why train? Doesn’t everyone naturally optimize mutual pleasure?
Yes, why train at all? You would think it would be so easy to let someone else know what you wanted, wouldn’t you? Far from it. Rarely has anyone gotten even the level of instruction in sex education that they did for driver’s education! What kind of world this would be, if people knew as much about their bodies, and their partner’s bodies, as they did about their cars, their children, or even how to bake a cake?
When you hear the word “training” how do you respond? Often people consider training to be clinical (without the robustness of human emotion) and restrictive. I like the word because it’s the simple truth. Training is an act of focused attention whose goal is to discover what strategies and techniques yield the best results. When it comes to giving and receiving intimate pleasure, who wouldn’t want that?
Would you like to be her sexual trainer… tonight?
Give her the hot, juicy pleasure she craves
Why is this the book that every woman hopes you will read before your next erotic encounter?
- You’ll learn how to recognize what she wants sexually. You will discover how to communicate openly and honestly about what pleases her—and you—sexually.
- You’ll understand how to get her to delightfully open her vast sexual treasure-trove to you. You’ll do this by mastering the art of encouraging her to reveal her deepest, most secret sexual fantasies and desires, so that they may become a reality.
- This book will show you—step-by-step—how to get her to genuinely enjoy the most outrageous sexual adventures with you.
- You’ll discover how to train her sexually both without her noticing that you’re doing it (when that’s appropriate), or with her overt and enthusiastic agreement—thus initiating a sexual training program together.
Are you ready to dive into hot, melt-down sex—more and better than you ever dared hope for? Sexual training is where it’s at.
