Congratulations. You have a threesome planned.
Two girls, one guy is the most common (my favorite is me with hubby and another guy).
How exciting and fun!
Here’s what to do.
“Your juicy loving words & ideas make me really look forward to fun sex every day. The way you talk about sex, it tells me how great it is for you. Plus, the articles you send out in your newsletter are beyond helpful and informative. Where were you all our lives? I also want to thank you for your FREE book on how to have More Sex More Often as loving couples. It turned my whole relationship and sex life a complete 180! Thanks!”
— Matt
First, stoke the turn-on early. I suggest texting each other with your ideas and share what excites you as a fun way to get things really juicy. Sexy texts to both girls in advance, expand the pleasure over time.
“I’m so excited to share this experience with you. You are a beautiful and sexy woman.”
“My girlfriend and I are looking forward to a pleasure-filled evening with you. Let’s make it really special.”
“Darling, thank you for creating this fantasy for me. I’m a lucky man and you turn me on so much.”
Have dinner first and discuss the particulars, such as boundaries and safe sex practices. Make sure you’ve been tested for STDs beforehand and let your third know if you have any oral or genital herpes or any other sexual health issues she should be aware of.
If you and your girl are fluid bonded, what are your sexual protection plans with the third? Figure this out in advance.
Discuss sexual boundaries. Will you have intercourse? Is kissing ok? If you have oral sex, will you use a condom or female condom or not? Are there any areas each of you prefer not to have touched? Does your third like a certain kind of lube? Repeat the boundaries back to each other until you are all clear.
Then begin to explore your fantasies.
As the guy, it’s important for you to lead the two women through the experience. You are the leader, the sensual master. Allow them the opportunity to surrender to the experience and let out their inner slut.
Amp up your compliments. During the threesome, make sure you are telling them what you find beautiful about them. How do they smell. Are you having fun? What do you love? Do they look sexy? How much do you appreciate them? How hot do they look together?
When they do something that turns you on, tell them. Every time.
You should give them a running dialog of what is turning you on throughout the experience. They need to hear you, feel you and get your approval for what they are doing.
Have a plan. Some moves. Think of three positions that occupy you all and tell the girls you’d enjoy any or all of them. See what sounds good to them.
Have you always wanted an A-Frame? You are lying down, one girl on your cock, one on your face, and they are facing each other, kissing.
Have you and your girlfriend always wanted to take turns giving another woman oral together?
Would you like to lie them both down (I recommend female condoms for this) and alternate fucking them, back and forth, back and forth?
Would you like them to show each other their best oral sex moves on you? Would you like them to fight over the opportunity to suck your cock? 🙂
Make sure you know what you’d like and what your gal wants and then mesh that with your third. Better to start from a point of knowing what you as a couple would enjoy and then suggesting a variety of options to your third.
The biggest trouble that comes up in threesomes is jealousy or one of you feeling left out. Put your attention and focus on both women and keep checking in with them as you go. And remember, your allegiance is always with your girlfriend, no matter how hot you are for the third.
Suggest in advance that if anyone feels left out, they should speak up immediately. No suffering in silence. Suggest that each of you “owns” the pleasure of the other two. That everyone’s #1 job is to take care of the other two and make sure they are having fun. If you all step up and own each others’ good time and pleasure, it works wonders for creating a deep connection of trust.
After the discussion about safe sex practices and plans for the evening, discuss boundaries and desires. Keep your focus on both women and their pleasure first. As well, make sure you express your pleasure, verbally and with sounds you make that show your turn-on (we love it when you moan and growl, men!).
Do all this and you have stacked the deck to have a rocking good time.
At the end, make sure you spend time hold them, thanking them for the beautiful experience, sharing personal highlights and giving them love and affection.
A threesome can be such a deep expression of our humanity, our sexuality and our integrity. Make yours such by being communicative, vigilant and upbeat.
Most of all, have fun! Bring joy. Feel love. Get sexy.
Update: Here’s a question I got back from a friend who read this:
hey sloane,
it’s happening tonight. omg! 😉
any last minute tips for my girlfriend not feeling uncomfortable during this?
should i only make out with her and just “kiss” the other girl from time to time and/or when we are all hugging playing with each other and switching back and forth with kissing?
thanks for any help.
My Answer:
Hey, have fun.
Keep an easy attitude.
Kiss them both, passionately and “thriss,” which is all three of you kissing at the same time, HOT.
Before you do this, make sure your girlfriend knows she’s your number 1 and what ever happens, she is #1 and you are just letting go and getting into the moment of your first threesome and to talk to you if she feels in any way alienated.
Ask each girl to be ultra communicative with you throughout the threesome.
MOST IMPORTANT: Show Leadership.
They want YOU to drive the event. Let them surrender to the threesome sexiness.
You have to step up and tell them what to do, and make it totally safe and OK for them both to unleash their “inner slut.”
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One Response
hey. my friend wants a three some with me and my other half. we are up for it. but i’ve done one before and it destroyed mine and the other girls friendship. its my other half and friends first time. read this has helped but im still worried that is either gonna destroy our relationship or mine and hers friendship. many thanks kayleigh.