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Why I’m A Righteous Potty Mouth

Why I’m A Righteous Potty Mouth

“Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on, I’ll be mad.”

– Rumi

A friend of mine recently commented on my “writing style,” specifically that I use words like pussy and cock…

My girlfriend wrote to me, in response to an email I sent to a few close friends, including her. She said, “when when you use profanity for emphasis — rather than making a greater impact (as you seem to desire) — it detracts from your message and from feeling you and being intimate with you. “

“I’d love to see you drop the “pussys” and”cocks” and let your beautiful writing and heart do the talking.”

I wanted to surface this issue here, because I have a vast list of followers on my email thread and readers of this blog and am sure my word choices affect you too.

In an attempt to share my life in a way that opens you to an ever-expanding possibility for love, sensuality, passion and eroticism, the last thing I want to do is push you away by using words that you find offensive.

At the same time, I desire to be both “real” in my choice of words – yes, I call a penis a “cock” and I call my vulva my “pussy.”  They feel true, less clinical and are a reflection of my personal communication style, which as you know, is straightforward.

If I get in the way-back machine, I remember finding those words offensive as well. But somewhere along the line, my girlfriends and I started owning those words, empowering them with our use, diffusing them and bringing them into the light of righteous ownership, rather than shrinking from them in disgust or complaining about them.

I OWN cock and pussy as vocab words. Oh yeah. They can’t get me.

They SERVE me.

I also strive to diffuse the negativity of these words by making them part of my daily parlance.

As well, I try not to over think who I really am, and just let it flow out. Sure, there’s a danger in not censoring oneself heavily.  (I frequently get myself in trouble) And I do alienate people. I’m aware.

I’m just not willing to compromise myself.

There are a million zillion people in the world. Some will like me. Some will hate me. I’m fine with that.

If the way I occur doesn’t suit you, don’t follow me. Don’t read my blog. Don’t befriend me.

If you befriend me, don’t ask me to change. Befriend me because you enjoy associating with me in all my imperfection. Just open your heart, find compassion in the moments I make you cringe with my cocks and pussies and accept me as I am. Please let me be the big, bawdy rock-star that I am.

And lest you find me polarizing you into a “take it or leave it corner.” Please know that I do change it up and use Yoni (though I don’t personally prefer it’s counterpart, “lingam”) sometimes. And, if I’m talking about specific parts of anatomy, I certainly use the correct titles. (Have you seen my recent post of Fourchettes and Front Commissures?)

One final supporting note on this. . .

Sheri Winston, author of the excellent new book, “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure” (a must-read and review coming forthwith) bemoans the lack of appropriate words for sexual communication. The panoply of bad choices include clinical (penis, vulva) or baby words (wee wee, down there) or dirty words (cock, pussy).


Sheri says, “We need to reclaim these “dirty” and “bad” words and make them “clean” and “good.” At the end of the day, it’s no surprise that our cultural lexicon makes it virtually impossible to have a straightforward, uncharged conversation about sex. What else can be expected from a society that’s as confused and neurotic as ours is about the topic?

18 Comments

  1. Sloane, I personally love your use of the words – fuck, cock, and pussy. I find them to be a turn on, and liberating. That’s me. Some people don’t like it – that’s them. Maybe we can do a poll-
    who likes fuck? who like cock? who likes pussy? who cares?
    From the perspective of some people liking how you are and some not – you’re in good historical company. Buddha, Moses, and Jesus had the same situation.
    Be who you are girl. Since you have no intention of hurting people or being mean, rather helping people to be freer and happier and more satisfied, be yourself, and share yourself.
    And continue to fuck with cocks and pussies!

  2. While reading your aticle I was also thinking of how I wold make my comments.
    I could not put my thoughts in better words than Ronald … Posted above.

  3. Hello Foxxy Sloane,

    I find those words to be more attractive in the heat of the moment! Penis sounds to clinical and so does Vulva or Vagina. I have read elsewhere that the author favored the slang words (at least I think they are slang) for the same reasons. I think people are too sensitive to stuff like this, the younger generation (teens and twenties) I’ve noticed, is quite free when talking about sexual topics and words they use.
    Thanks for your contributions,

    Shaun

  4. Hello Sloane,

    I don’t think you should have to change how you write. It’s fine the way it is. I would think it helps people get turned on and visualize what you describe with their partner. Thats what I think though. Also we should keep those words dirty. It makes them that much more naughty to say. Keep up the good work.

    Lee

  5. The reality is very simple:

    Words are for communication.

    But what is communication? Maybe one persons definition of “dirty” is “clean” to another. Or in some puzzles you might have words meaning exactly the opposite of what you might expect (until you realize the next point): context. Also similar: inside jokes and even jargon in certain fields (science, literature, etc.). The list is actually quite long. To be blunt: if a word is dirty it is dirty only because someone thought it was and put effort into tainting it*. Maybe I am opening Pandora’s Box here but do I really need to remind anyone that the term gay has more meanings than it originally did? What about gang not only meaning what I might see here in Los Angeles?

    Besides, let’s all be realistic: women do want to do dirty things with their lover but because of society they have to be careful and/or discreet. But if they are pleasured by their lover they will want to give back. I think it interesting that no matter how careful someone is there is still a very high chance that whatever they do or say will offend SOMEONE (even if that offence is caused by trying not to offend – quite a common thing, actually).

    *Obviously none of that makes it acceptable if the person speaking/writing is actually doing things to offend people (e.g., racist remarks) and especially in the case someone thought of the word for the purpose of hurting others.

  6. Sloane..
    Your friend has a right to her opinion.
    But I do appreciate you telling and calling it what it is.
    This is an adult service which relates to sex, so please continue.
    But you have another topic to write and teach us about..
    Good sex should be dirty, nasty, colorful and as descriptive as possible.. everything goes, the action or the description..
    Descriptive linguistics is an art form.. don’t lose it.. use it..
    Thanks..

  7. Sloane
    The way you talk is clear. Dirty is not the word I would ever use.
    When I hear your voice, (whatever your words), my cock hears you and listens.
    What a wonderful manner of talking you have. I want my woman to listen to you and learn to talk to me like that.
    Do you give speech lessons?
    Matt Donnelly

  8. Thank you for your many columns and emails, Sloane. Don’t ever change the way you write or convey to your audience about cocks, pussies, and the like. Thanks, Scott

  9. Sloane
    You go girl. From someone who is on the other side of 60 I remember how using those words were an absolute No No.If you were female and used them you were a slut. As stated by Tony, this an adult oriented site. I think it is neither offensive or dirty. it’s not as though you are saying it every other word. I find it quite sexy and a turn on when the opposite sex uses these so called dirty words the way you do.
    Keep up the good work Sloane. I admire you and the rest of the contributors to Personal Life Media. This site has been a long time coming.

  10. I strongly request u to use the words “PUSSY” and “COCK”.
    If u r going to use other sophisticated words the topic will attract majority of your readers, few of your readers feel bad it does not mean u have to stop these words in your article, please use always these words only.

  11. You are just saying what you feel inside yourself and you are relaxed with it for some they dont like that we cant all like the same things in life because it would be boring i would imagine to some degree. You are just expressing yourself just like you express yourself in the bedroom with your mate.
    when you are around kids and so forth im sure you dont speak that way and i dont either we are grown ups and just like any thing else some enjoy Porn and some dont we just have to move on.

  12. Sloan,
    My feeling on this is that there is a confidence ( = sexiness ) about a woman that uses words like yoni or pussy when referring to her lady parts. She seems more honest and grounded . Nothing was more of a thrill to me than when my former love would tell me that her “pussy” was looking for some attention.

    Please don’t change a thing. Folks, if you don’t like it don’t read it.

    Bruce

  13. It’s all about context! And in the context of this blog, YOU decide . . . . GO FOR IT, DARLIN’

  14. There is another source that supplies DVDs of similar content, that I find rather repulsive because they are so clinical. Those kinds of words should remain in the doctor’s office. In the real world we use the more common words and tell it like it is. If someone is such a prude that it is offensive to them, they should go somewhere else.

  15. Sloane, continue doing your do. I find your language most appropriate and a real turn on. You are in the zone baby.

  16. Dear Sexy Lady Sloane ,I
    love the way you speak and write your blog,I love pussy and it my favourite word for the female genitals . You are the sweetest girl dont ever change.
    Rajin.

  17. Hey Sloane, As with all the above you have my blessing too, please continue exactly as you are, this is your right.
    If the prudes of the world don’t like it FvCk them.

  18. Words like penis, vagina and copulate are for the doctor’s surgery.

    When you go into the bedroom with your lover, do you take society in the room with you, or do you leave it outside at the door?

    This site is bedroom talk and you’re doin’ it right. ;)

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