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How Can I Get More of the Melting Feelings From Intercourse Orgasms?

How Can I Get More of the Melting Feelings From Intercourse Orgasms?

One of the ways I learn information and process concepts is to talk it through out loud or to write about it. Hence, I’m a blogger.

Here’s what I’m trying to work out and I’d REALLY appreciate your personal comment below to help me:

Hubby and I have been focused on improving the quality of our intercourse together. In our lovemaking, we put a lot of attention on getting better and better and it’s not uncommon for us to say to each other after a lovemaking session…

“Wow, that was the best sex we ever had!”

We spent a few years getting really good at Expanded Orgasm, learning from Dr. Patti’s material. Then we wanted to teach me to squirt so we learned from Tallulah, and now, I have to say, the towels are sodden and between the DOing and the squirting, I am coming at a level of exquisite release I could have never even dreamed of when I was having a few clitoral orgasms during sex.

Lately, we’ve been incrementing our skills in coitus/intercourse… you know,  fucking.

I’ve been giving hubby a lot of feedback, teaching him how I want his penis to stroke me. I will hold his hips, set up a rhythm, then he’ll take that rhythm and stroke and own it, leaving me free to stop holding the pace and surrender into the feeling.

Sometimes, yes, I want to meet his stroke with my pelvis, but most of the time, relaxing and receiving puts me deeper into my feeling and sensation.

Before we started our Expanded Orgasm practice, intercourse was just OK to me. I didn’t LOVE it. It was nice, but I would have to have clitoral stimulation, preferably with a vibrator, to have an orgasm. And honestly, the penis in me was actually distracting to my orgasm.

After we learned all the sweet spots inside my vagina through the touch and manual stimulation of Expanded Orgasm and G-Area ejaculation stroking, my pussy flowered and opened and the sensitivity was a thousandfold.

We’ve also learned that it’s not even worth it to have intercourse unless I’ve been “warmed up” (engorged) first. Which is best done with a DO date. (Deliberate Orgasm = Expanded Orgasm. Same thing, two different ways to say it.)

Combine that with what I call a “conscious cock” – that my husband now knows how to use his penis to stroke the sweet spots inside me in ways that previously he had no idea about – and now I’m having orgasms directly from intercourse, no vibrator required.

Me having orgasms from intercourse is a huge breakthrough, massively increasing the quality our lovemaking experience.

I owe it all to our Expanded Orgasm practice. Without that, I would have never learned how to be so multi-orgasmic. I would have never learned how to enjoy such a wide variety of sensations. I would have never had my genitals engorged so slowly and beautifully, puffing up to silky pillows of sensational tissue that loves to be stroked, now by and penis and fingers.

But here’s what I’m working out. What I’m noticing. And I would REALLY APPRECIATE your comments and personal insights in response. (please post in blog comment section below):

I notice that when hubby and I are having intercourse, and he’s inside me, he’s now stroking pretty deeply and with a solid rhythm. I like this a lot and it raises my turn on and makes me come, but it’s that kind of coming that is more like “oh my god, oh my god,” and the sensation is almost too much, and I am whimpering a little from it.

It’s a different orgasm than the kind of feeling I get from clitoral stroking in our Expanded Orgasm practice or while ejaculating from G-Spot blended orgasms. Those are “easier” orgasms to have. The intercourse orgasms are almost overwhelming and more on the out-of-control side of coming. They are less in the sweet, delicious, melting release category.

I know I need to breathe. That’s for darn sure.  And I’ll try that next.

But my question is, how can I get more of the melting feeling from intercourse orgasms? There’s an edge to them right now that I’m enjoying but it’s also a little overpowering.

Did I give you enough detail to go on? Enough description?

Are you on this path and have you traveled beyond where I am now? Can you shed some light onto the next steps in my journey?

Some women and their men are really good at intercourse. I know you can give me some advice about where to go from here, what to try.

For example, one of the things Dr. Patti taught me was to appreciate every stroke of a finger on my clit, to spread that sensation and enjoy all of it.

Something Tallulah taught me was to open my pussy like a flower, rather than crunch it down to have a clitoral-style orgasm. By opening, pushing out, I could ejaculate.

The stroke appreciation and the opening were two strategies that brought me a tremendous amount of new pleasure.

Is there a similar concept for intercourse that will make it better for me?

I like the rather hard pounding fucking, for the first time in my life. I get it. I get why women want this. I want it. And I’m coming from it. But it’s feeling a little edgy for me.

I look forward to any insights you can provide in the comment section below. And of course, I’ll keep you apprised of my evolution!

Get this free eBook to learn how to give her maximum orgasm.

19 Comments

  1. I talked last night at a party to a girlfriend who is further along the path of her sexual experience than I and she said spread the orgasmic energy around my body, pushing it into my legs, arms, up through my chest, can expand the orgasmic feeling and move it into a richer experience.

    Her advice reminds me of Sheri Winston’s excellent new book, Woman’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure.

    Sheri talks about using the Pelvic Pump (squeezing your PC muscles up tight) while you bring your breath throughout your body. In her book, she gives so much great advice and wisdom I’ve learned already by doing, that I believe her book is exactly on track and her advice is valuable and actionable for increasing the pleasure you have during sex.

  2. Hi Sloane, I haven’t got much experience in sex, but before you delete this comment, please bear with me for a bit. I have learned quite a few sexual techniques, and I also am a huge fan and follower of the Authentic Man Program. Ok, here goes. Two things: 1. Have you heard of the “Deep Spot”? It’s also called the Anterior Fornix. David Shade discovered it: http://masterful-lover.com/blog/deep-spot-orgasms/the-official-deep-spot-video/
    It’s a great technique for enwakening the vagina. 2. A big one is surrender. To have the kind of orgasm you’re wanting will require you to surrender completely to your man, and to the orgasm. And you can’t cheat. Lol. A great one you mentioned was breathing. Also, your man plays a huge part in this. Him guiding you through this, by reminding you to breathe, for example, is a big piece.
    I think, in my humble opinion, that this should help you along. However, being sexually inexperienced, I think you should consult a professional as well. :)
    I really hope this helps you, Sloane.
    Sincerely, Nick

  3. Hello Sloane,

    So, you want to know how to generate this particular melting feeling while having an intercourse orgasm. Based on my own experience with my first girl friend you can gradually create this melting sensation by means of a particular kind of intercourse referred to as pompoir which is linked to the French term la pompe which means the pump in English. I had this experience in 1968 in a small village of the name Coivrel east of Paris in France where I gre up. My girl friend at that time literally seduced me with pompoir by being on top of me with my shaft firmly in her vagina. She then rythmically squeezed my shaft with her vaginal muscles and then released the pressure. The feeling for her and me was incredible. During this process you do not move. There is no thrusting and no grinding. The only action is the sqeezing and then subsequent releasing of the female’s vaginal muscles around the male’s shaft. So, in this case the female is in complete charge and in control. Now in order to make this experience even more intense we actually did this on her motorcycle while she was kickstarting the engine. So, there was indeed now some other motion involved, namely the motion of her thighs and calves while kickstarting. To do all this on a practical level it is necessary to have a motorcycle with a centre stand such as a German BMW bike or a Russian Ural bike which both have a rather silent engine compared to other bikes. And you have to put a soft small matress or solid slepping bag onto the tank of the bike. The male is lying with his back on the bike while the female is straddling him on top doing the kickstarting and reving the throttle once the engine is running. Their is one key aspect here to observe. The female has to kick the kickstarter in a rather slow playful manner in order to create this terrific melting feeling. I might take half an hour for the motor to start this way. But the feeling is simply out of this world. And once the motor roars to life you very gently rev the throttle in a playful manner. If you want to do all this yourself here in North America I suggest to have the bike in a garage with a soft carpet on the floor and a slid hose attached to the exhaust pipe leading to the outside. If you do this exercise at least once a day for a whole month you will have developped in addition incredibly sexy thighs and calves due to all the kickstarting, and subsequently you will have this melting sensation during vaginal intercourse orgasm in general after this exercise where you are actually in your bedroom without the bike. I tried the same thing with some other girl friends later in Gaermany in the seventies where I lived for 16 years and then also with some Canadian girl friends, both English and French Canadian. I am now living in the Canadian Midwest for the last 27 years. So, I am convinced that it will work as well with American women. Once you start doing this on the motorbike you become absolutely addicted to this. Just make sure that the bike is always in neutral and do the kicking and revving in a very playful and teasing manner. If you select a BMW bike or Ural bike, you will not wake up your neighbours. The engines are that quiet. So, I hope to have demonstrated to you that you can use a motorbike, which here plays the role of a gigantic vibrator, to achieve your goal of producing a melting intercourse orgasm.

  4. Hi, Sloane.
    Lady, you have done a really GREAT job of describing your sexual evolution. I would be truly surprised if your writings don’t inspire a LOT of those who read them to explore and develop their own sexuality and that of their partners.

    You concluded by asking for insights from those who read this blog. For what it is worth, here is my insight.

    Quote: “I like the rather hard pounding fucking, for the first time in my life. I get it. I get why women want this. I want it. And I’m coming from it. But it’s feeling a little edgy for me.”
    Unquote.

    I can’t help the feeling that this is a lot like the difference between saying, “I’ll believe it when I see it,” or, “I’ll see it when I believe it.” Substitute ‘get the best out of’ for ‘see’ and ‘surrender for ‘believe’ so that the second one would read, “I’ll get the best out of it when I surrender to it.”

    To put it another way, simply be in the moment – without judgement or expectation – and let your body do its thing.

    I have had a bit to do with helping women who have been abused, either physically, mentally, or both, to heal themselves. I posted a comment on one of your blogs earlier today with one of the ‘tools’ that I have developed to help with this work, a technique that I call Pelvic Floor Sculpting. This massage technique has been quite useful in helping women to get back in touch with their bodies, especially their sexual organs. The most common comment that I get after performing this work with a woman has been, “That is very grounding. It gets you right back in your body.”

    IN YOUR BODY is where you need to be to experience the maximum pleasure that your body is capable of giving you. You don’t need to judge or expect or moralise or rationalise or anything else, just BE there and SURRENDER to the moment.

    As I understand it, women are DESIGNED AND BUILT to experience pleasure and LOTS of it from almost any loving physical contact from almost anyone with whom they feel comfortable. When they are sexually aroused, their pleasure potential is increased HUGELY because thier bodies become so much more sensitive and their DESIRE for physical contact is likewise HUGELY increased, especially for INTIMATE physical contact and the more INTIMATE and PHYSICAL, the better. How much more intimate can it get than taking a part of the body of a person for whom you feel strong emotional attachment deep inside your own body with intent to give and receive mutual pleasure from this contact?

    I have never forgotten a saying used by a doctor in Adelaide, Australia, in his introduction to the classes he used to facilitate for women who difficulty experiencing orgasm back in the early 1970′s: “A woman is a life support system for a pleasure producing pussy.” The basis of his teachings seemed to be along the lines of, “Get out of the way and let your pussy do its thing.”

    I hope this helps.

    You have a wonderful, sexual, day. Best wishes. Deas Plant.

  5. The more you surrender, relax & live in the monent; the more pleasure you will feel.

  6. Hi Sloane, melting moments hey, the pleasurable way. Yes goood sex is only being discovered by a few and so it become an education for the many who just don’t know that this sort of pleasure is there for them to enjoy. I have yet to meet a woman who does not like a rock hardon and for the guy to give her at least an hour of pleasure from it. I have an old saying about the word { B.I.T.C.H} which means, ‘Beautiful Individual That Causes Hardons’
    hence the woman loves to be your BITCH when it is really a hard erection. For the men out there who are in the 62% of men that have erectional problems, I can’t understand why they don’t seek help to deliver there manly-ness for there partner to enjoy. Good herb tabs taken on a daily basis is a good start. Then we come to those melting moments of enjoying each other. I liked the motor bike experience, yes there are many ways to get to the melting moment, it all come down to attitude. Imagine the senses, and the emotion ,and the build up to the passion for that melting moment. I just can imagine U right now, with that sexy curve on your body, as U read me. Right! Are we in tune under the moon, stroking and touching and fantasizing to each other, just now it is us and we love to share the joy we will have. have pleny of celery juice with chia seeds before U have a passionate seccision, helps the stamina.
    It seems it is all up to the women to get the men to realise all this sexual health that they need to know, what do U think Sloane?? Your tiger waiting 4u

  7. Oh Sloan, It’s edgy because in fact, IT IS EDGY !!
    A beautiful communication from you, thanks for writing so well.
    Hard fucking does emphasize the polarity between masculine and feminine. The masculine is on top, and pounding down into you, holding you so you can’t get away, pounding you down. You, feminine power, become the poundee.

    But there may be more ‘melting’ in your orgasms. Does your manly man remember to stop at the bottom of some deep thrusts and just hold it there, pressing firmly without motion? This deep hold allows your body a perspective to appreciate the power and depth of the deep fucking. But you may already be doing this. ;-)

    Flow into the places where the edgy makes you go. He’s taking you there. The melting will increase in the space where the edgy is.

    Thanks for what you do!
    Clark

  8. Clitoral, g spot, now deep thrust vaginal orgasms. Arrgh!
    Assuming size makes significant difference?

    • The lie is that size doesn’t matter. Fact: If the size of the tool is too small, you cannot do the job right. Example: Ever try to use the wrong size wrench on a nut? How did that work out? Try digging a ditch using a soup spoon, instead of a proper size shovel. Worst reality: There is a consensus among some sexologists concerning the average penis size; for some 85% of men, it’s between 5″ and 7″ inches. There other 15% are 8″ and better. The average woman (once she understands how her vagina works) needs more than 7″. A man’s girth also matters.

  9. Hi there, May wanna consider to use Marcus London 10 pump technique. Makes the urge for a more orgasmic gratification, utilizes a counting of 10 pumps along with breathing. In which consists of counting 1deep, and 9 shallow, then agn counting down 1 shallow,1deep, then 8 shallow, and repeat the same process till you’ve reached counting to number 1 , and repeat from 10 again honey

  10. Please tell us (those of us with partners who don’t say much) how to find and hit our partners’ sweet spots?

    How can we learn to wield “conscious cocks?”

    How did your partner learn about them?

    Thanks for talking about this.

  11. Can someone cut the image of Bethel from these posts. I’m trying to fix the problem on this end.

  12. Arch your Back.

  13. Melting suggests a very relaxed, released state, breathing evenly, completely surrendered to the sensation. So your orgasm washes easily and sweetly through your body, unrestricted, like the vibrations of a plucked guitar string. mmmmmm

    What you are describing with vaginal orgasms sounds as though there’s a little tension involved or perhaps a slight blockage in a chakra, for lack of a better explanation.

    Tension may prevent the sensation from freely vibrating through your body. And if you have come to expect an unpleasant sense of being overwhelmed by your orgasm, you may tense slightly somewhere in the body before you even begin, because you are expecting something unpleasant as a result. This expectation can cause tension and blockage.

    The advice to breathe and surrender is excellent as far as it goes. But you might also ask yourself, perhaps in a light state of self hypnosis, where the tension is and how to best release it. Remind your unconscious mind that it is safe to melt, feel secure and comfortable and release the tension with your breath. It’s safe to resonate with your orgasm in your entire body and mind.

    If there is an emotional memory residing in your body that needs to be faced and dealt with, that isnt quite okay in your subconscious mind, letting it go will allow you to melt into your ograsm completely.

    Another possibililty is that you are holding back the from complete surrender to this kind of orgasm because you are afraid of it. Is it possible that it’s so overwhelming, you are afraid of losing consciousness, for example? Are you concerned you might float away and not be able to come back?

    I think the heart of my message is that you are safe. You can relax and let go completely into this experiece. You can melt and know that you can vibrate with unfathomable pleasure and survive, even if you lose consciousness for a short time.

    It’s okay to be fucked to enlightenment.

    <3

  14. Hi,Sloane how are you,you are doing a great job for those how have a big distance in their relations that’s a good thing why dont you give advice for those who recently fall in love and they are trying to do sex because first time they dont know how to start i mean speacialy boys they don’t know how to start with girl i mean girls don’t know either inspite of watching adult movies alot but in reality it would be difficult for them because married couples are useto of it.Please make some thin for newbies.Thanks for all your posts i learned alot and need more to learn yet.

  15. THANKS SLOANE–YOU HAVE MADE IT A SCIENCE BUT THE‘melting’ in your orgasms DEMANDS TOTAL CONTROL BY YOUR HUBBY YOU JUST SUPPORT AND ACCOMMODATE HIM.THE FIRST ORGASM CLITORIS MELTING IS FINGERED TILL YOU ARE ABOUT TO COME AND IF YOUR HUBBY IS INTELLIGENT HE WILL PICK THE SIGNAL THEN SHOULD PUT HIS ERECT OCK IN YOU AND START POUNDING DEEP AND AND AFTER 3-4 STROKES PUSH AND HOLD FOR FEW SECONDS AND MOVE THE GIRTH CLOCKWISE AND YOU HOLD YOURSELF AND PUSH YOUR UTERUS DON ON HIS COCK SO THAT YOU GRIP AND YOU WILL BE SURPRISED TO KNOW THAT AT THIS STAGE YOU SHOULD MOVE YOUR PENIS FORWARD AND BACK GENTLY AND YOU WIL SEE THAT YOU WILL ENJOY BEST ORGASM AND YOU WILL LOOSE CONTROL AND ASK YOUR PARTNER TO POUND FIERCELY LIKE ANIMAL AND YOU WILL ENJOY EVERY STROKE AND KEEP HIM ORGASM–I DO IT WITH MY WIFE ONLY AND WE ARE IN FIFTIES–GOOD LUCK AND IVE IT A TRY AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU MAY LIKE TO SHARE

  16. Sloane,

    It sounds like you and your husband may be on a similar path as my husband and I, married 20 years and still very much in love, but just lost our passion along the way for many reasons. Anyway, we only started our rediscovery a few months ago, and have taken a different path, but similarly I was only able to have clitoral, or blended G-spot and clitoral orgasms in the past. Intercourse after a great orgasm was always fantastic, and at times I thought I could have had an orgasm, I just did it know how to do it, or allow it, and my husband would mistake my elevatd pleasure as an orgasm and lose it. After much review and practice, I am experiencing bed soaking ejaculatory orgasms (no joke, we bought a Facinator Throe after soaking through several towels and sheets down to our goose down feather bed that is all but ruined, and My husband has to lift me off of the bed afterward to avoid spilling because I am ankle deep in wetness), Anterior and posterior Fornix vaginal orgasms, and even an anal orgasm which took me by complete surprise.

    These orgasms do not feel anything like clitoral orgasms which are powerfully pleasurable, and at first I had a difficult time recognizing that I was orgasming because they are so different. Wonderfully, you become more sensitive with practice (thank you synaptogenesis), and the orgasms become more intense in sequence (I think this is what is called stacking). The scary thing is that since it is something we have no prior experience which we can compare it to, it is difficult to allow ourselves to let go and be pleasured beyond our comprehension. It is terrifying and edgy, which makes it even more sexy to share with your husband. I think the take home message on increasing your pleasure with your vaginal orgasms and even experiencing an anal orgasm is allowing yourself to completely submit to your husband, and surrender all control. What’s the worst thing that can happen right?

    You go first:)

    P.S. Alex Allman describes this beautifully in a comparison to a roller coaster ride, I think in his Passionate Lover introduction.

    Xoxo sexy Sistah!

  17. I enjoyed your thoughts and comments very much. One suggestion I have is to state what position on each subject you are in, i.e top or bottom or side or back! I don’t think you were in the same position on your comments. That is important for us to understand correctly. It is all in communication, and I have spent my life in learning to communicate more effectively. Few of us pay much attention to that issue. I agreed with Dr. Patty on the opening up like a flower rather than crunching your clit, but here is important to mention top position if that is your intention! Overall, nice job, it will help everyone that want to improve. Also you as the woman, should always open up your vulnerabilities as much as possible, we can feel it and tell when you are loose as a goose! Take care.

  18. Hi Sloane as per your situation it’s your automotive nervest system have a problem.
    So try to take meditation & kenkrl exercise.Try to forget everything & let it feel about the manhood in and out .During intercose you can squeesing his pennis with your yoni that time you can take his hand on your nipple or let him suck your nipple & rup or stoke your clit or much much more

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