"Hormones and menopause – are they an inevitable death sentence for my partner’s sex life… and therefore mine?"

Hello Susan,

I am interested in Revive Her Drive but I am positive that my wife’s [lack of sex] drive is from the stress and her hormone balance.

She takes care of me. I still give her orgasms.

But they are just not the same snapping ones as before.

My wife says she is fine with that but I am not.

How is Revive Her Drive going to help the hormone issues?

I did buy her some Horny goat weed and her testosterone levels went up and it was great but now she will not take it any more.

She is 44 and all of her sisters went through the same thing at this age.

I truly believe she needs to adjust the hormone levels.

Again, how will Revive Her Drive help in this area?

— R

Hi R.,

Thanks for asking about this. It’s a common question: “Hormones and menopause – are they an inevitable death sentence for my partner’s sex life… and therefore mine?”

You said, “Her orgasms are just not the same snapping ones as before.”

I commend you for noticing that her pleasure is declining. This is VERY important. A critical situation. You are at the fork in the road. If you don’t intervene right now, her libido will be extremely more difficult to turn on again.

“My wife says she is fine with that, but I am not.”

You are correct not to be fine. Your wife IS under hormone decline, so she literally does not care as much about sex as you do right now.  Left untreated, you are in for a slow, painful decline in your whole relationship.

How do you TREAT this?

It’s not what you think.

It’s not estradiol, horny goat weed or any other pill, potion or powder.

Everything you need is within you now.

And within her.

I’ll explain, but let’s add in the other “belief” that is holding sway on your situation of your wife’s declining interest in sex.

You said, “She is 44 and all of her sisters went through the same thing at this age.”

That’s classic. Her mother… He sisters… Her girlfriends… At some fixed age in  so many women’s minds, they have this theoretical set point belief that, “Sex is over.”

In your wife’s case, 44. (So young! I didn’t even come into my sexuality until I was 45!!!) Now there’s some familial “legend” that makes it not only OK, but “expected” the she’s going to stop wanting sex. Not good.

So, R, when you said, “I truly believe she needs to adjust the hormone levels.” I have some GREAT NEWS FOR YOU! You are actually in control here, not out of control with nothing to do. You can adjust her hormone levels yourself!

Crazy?

Nope…

Here’s how.

Biology, darling.

It can work in your favor, if you just know how it works and what to do.

And it’s easy!

When you give her orgasms, it increases her Oxytocin, Vasopressin, Testosterone and all kinds of delicious “Love Chemicals” that feed her dopamine and seratonin levels too.

When you make her come, you bathe her in sensual, love-filled neuro-chemistry that make her orgasmic pleasure snap, crackle and pop again!

And why is she less interested? Why is it increasingly harder for her to want to have sex with you?

She’s bored.

I know I wrote that harshly. It’s not your fault. You have been trying to really please her. I am sure of that. And in the “trying to do the right thing” you are actually falling prey to a counter-intuitive male/female dynamic that is inscrutable to most men.

Let me reset your beliefs here.

She wants sex.

She wants a passionate relationship.

She just needs you to take over and drive, babe. Grab the rudder. Here’s the wheel. Take it. She wants to trust that if she surrenders to you, you will accept what ever happens in the bedroom and adore her for it. And she must trust that if she turns her nervous system over to you, she will experience incredible pleasure.

Listen to the 21 Mistakes audio collection to see how this is counter-productive and what to do to take charge, lead her, go first, transport her.

Listen to Secret Arousal Maps so you understand Zone Theory and working from the outside in.

R, how much have you deviated from your same old sex routine lately?

When was the last time you picked her up and threw her down on the bed?

Blindfolded her and licked her all over?

Booked a sexy hotel and decked it out with candles, champagne, music and a new negligee for her?

If you want to save your sex life, it’s time to follow the proven turn-around plan I put together for situations exactly like yours.

You asked, “Again, how will Revive Her Drive help in this area?”

I will show you how to romance your woman again. Because you have clearly forgotten. It happens in all relationships after a few years. Don’t worry. That’s ok. You’re not too late. You found us. Not just me, but my dozen specialists and the best of all, all the men who are posting in the Forum, sharing their private successes and frustrations in support of each other.

Here’s what you need to do.

Go watch the Webinar where I explain how the Love Chemicals work and what Robert did to turn Lauren around. That will give you a good story-based overview of what a turn-around situation like yours looks like, so you get the concept of what has to happen for you.

You are going to romance her first. Start with the Stealth Turn Around Tricks. There are over thirty romance ideas in Revive Her Drive which you’ll uncover as you hear the audio dialogues.

The Fast Path Guide has another checklist of romantic ideas. Start folding those into what you are doing.

Next you will read What The Caveman Knew – the bonus eBook about Oxytocin that you get when you purchase Revive Her Drive. It explains that you want to get her hormones going again and get her turned on again, buy creating Polarity, Danger and Novelty (also called Variety).

Next you will read The Four Elements of Revival and learn about the two conditions and 2 skills you’re going to need to turn her back on again, and even take her higher and out further into sexier, more erotic experiences than you have ever done together before.

In the Four Elements, the 2 conditions are Polarity and Overcoming Resistance. In Polarity, you are going to step up and take charge of this and ignore her freaking sisters and you are going to overcome her limiting belief that her sex life is over at 44 because…

You are going to start having sex so hot that she’s going to choose sex with you over no sex, like her poor sisters.

If you need to understand how to step up and take charge without getting smacked down by your woman (or her sisters) listen to: Sustaining Attraction, Lifelong Passion and Masterful Love MANifesto (HOT!).

If you need to understand how to Overcome Her Limiting Belief about menopause at 44 being the end of her libido, listen to Overcoming Resistance and Sexual Sticking Points.

Next you will start awakening her body again. You’ve been remiss in taking control of her sensual potential. Don’t feel badly at all. This is very common and now you know what to do, so you can turn it around. You must lead her, as her man, into her potential. Show her what is possible.

To do that, you use her five senses.  You remind her how good it feels to get touched with sensual massage (not erotic massage YET – this is a stair step method). You feed her delicious foods and buy her chocolate and feed it to her. You hold her and stroke her hair while she’s watching TV. You buy her a wonderful-smelling candle, or perfume, flowers, a dried sachet or bread – what smells good to her? Do you know? Get her smelling again. Take her to a garden for a stroll. Or a hike in the woods. The ideas provide great novelty and awaken her senses while giving you time to put your attention on her and give her affection – what she wants and what you want too.

I know it’s not just about the sex – I know you want affection and playfulness and sexiness. And you can help make it fun for her to give it to you by rewarding her for good behavior as you see her awaken, become receptive, begin engaging with you again intimately.

Now you are taking the lead, refusing to accept her limiting beliefs and showing her there are alternate and even more delicious options – you are expanding her perspective, like a good man does for his lady.

You are touching her and awakening her while you’re romancing her.

Now add in Erotic Communication. Listen to that and Erotic Adventures.

Start talking or emailing her (if you write better than articulate) sweet and sexy things. Things about her you find sexy are the very best thing you can tell her. Keep up an endless supply of these and enjoy telling them to her. This is not work, this is the pleasure of passion between a man and a woman.

Finally, finally, finally, she is going to warm to your touch, come to you for more sensation. That’s when you want to get her sooooo turned on, with erotic massage… that she is begging for more.

To get your offers right so she’ll keep saying yes, listen to the 4 Keys to Seduction with Dr. Patti Taylor. This four part model will teach you how to always make your woman an offer that she can easily say, “yes” to you for. So you are always getting more touch, more love, more passion, more sex – because you are not asking for more than sounds good to her.

It’s always about adding fuel to her fire, keeping her embers burning. First you have to get her fire restarted.

It doesn’t take any goat weed, it takes romance, sensuality, seduction.  It always have. It always will.

Listen to Secret Arousal Maps, Orgasmic Mastery and Seductive Sexuality. Keep romancing her, turning on her body all the time, then start using the seductive psychology strategies that are sprinkled liberally all over the whole program with all dozen of the interviews.

And continue to stair step her until she’s open enough again to try even more new ideas. Then you’ll be ready for Dr. Patti’s Her Sexual Trainer product!

That’s how it’s done.

As far as her hormones. I suggest every woman have a hormone panel if she is in the financial position and desires to do so. She can take hormone replacement therapy, bio-identical or synthetic. She can get progesterone cream to put on topically. If she is having any hormone symptoms, I’d encourage you to go to the doctor with her. It’s confusing and having your partner there really helps. The best combination is an endocrinologist/gynecologist. See if you can find one in your area in your health network.

I hope that gives you a sense of hope, a new purpose and some excitement to move forward and open your woman to a world of sexual delight and hot and passionate turn-on.

With Love,
Susan Bratton