Book Reviews: 50 Shades of Grey, Transcendent Sex and Red Hot Monogamy
Three book reviews for you this week including the erotic fiction book that’s captured an incredible amount of attention called, 50 Shades of Grey by FL James.
Click Here <=== Transcendent Sex [Book Review]
Click Here <=== Red-Hot Monogamy [Book Review]
50 Shades of Grey is an erotic novel. It’s a story of a young woman, Anastasia Steele who meets a business titan with a penchant for “power play.”
Power play is a kind of sexual role play where there’s a pre-agreed structure for interaction between a dominant and a submissive partner. Power play often includes forms of kinky sex, mostly where the sub does what the dom tells them to. Because it’s mutually consensual and stays within the boundaries of the agreement, couples can make up any rules that suit their fantasies and desires.
What I think is so amazing is that this book has been read by so many people and it’s about this subject, which is not mainstream sexual behavior.
Last week when I interviewed Adam Armstrong about Sexual Domination and Dirty Talk was the first I’d ever editorially covered anything in the kink, BDSM or power play category.
Ultimate Orgasm Techniques <=== Listen or Download Free MP3
Power play is simply a more heightened variety of sexual domination. In sexual domination, a man might hold his woman down while kissing her or making love, or might pick her body up and move it around, either into the bedroom or into a position. It’s about one person taking the lead and the other surrendering (always within the boundaries of mutually agreed upon comfort) to the leader and enjoying the experience being created.
Think about the last time you got a professional massage, or a pedicure, or a haircut. Your expert did their work and you surrendered to their expertise and allowed them to “have their way.”
That’s the trust that power play couples have with each other. The foundations are trust and surrender.
Trust and surrender are the foundations for a healthy sexual relationship across all kinds of lovemaking.
For a woman to open herself sexually to her man, he must create a foundation of trust into which she can surrender.
Women are dying for their lovers to take the lead, provide the vision for the lovemaking, take her on an erotic journey balanced with safety and variety or novelty.
All the fundamentals are still there. Desire is created from the magic combination of risk (variety, novelty) and safety (trust).
I read somewhere recently that erotica is one of the reasons women love their iPads, Kindles and other eReaders. They can privately download and read erotica, which is simply sexy romance – the bastion of female literature consumption.
Consider 50 Shades of Grey a story illustrating power play which is evocative to most women. Being told what to do sexually takes us “off the hook” for being responsible for our sexual desires. For many women, cultural or religious shame tamps their desires and the only thing that gets them out of their shame state is to be dominated by the lover.
For women fortunate enough to have a trusted lover who is also a leader, she can “ride his ride” knowing he’ll never do anything but bring her pleasure and she can surrender like putty into his hands and respond to the ways he’s stimulating her without her being required to “think up the sex.” She thus can relax and come for him and enjoy herself. (No reason you can’t switch roles, of course, but in the masculine:feminine polarity, somebody’s gotta lead and somebody’s gotta follow, capish*?)
Our culture has also emasculated our men such that they’ve become afraid to sexually lead their woman.
50 Shades of Grey illustrates how big our cultural appetite is for power play in the bedroom.
If you’ve wanted to have your man step up and lead you erotically, tell him. And give him as much detail about what would make it sexy for you and where your boundaries are.
If you are a man who craves to take the lead but are unsure exactly how to start without potentially alienating your lover, talk to her. It’s very likely that she’d enjoy you taking the lead and has some ideas of her own.
Start here with my interview with Adam Armstrong about Sexual Domination to learn more.
Bottom line. If you have ever fantasized about being dominated and you like reading simple romance stories with an edge, you might enjoy 50 Shades of Grey.
Personally, it wasn’t readable to me because it was sophomoric, poorly written and not sensual enough for my personal tastes.
I’ll send my copy of 50 Shades of Grey to you free if you post your opinion of this review below on the blog comments and I like your opinion best (doesn’t have to mirror my opinion).
*Capish. do you understand? from Italian ‘tu capisci?