The sexiest sustainable relationships are those which are honest, truthful and unfettered. These skills will help you take your sex life to unimaginable levels of intimacy and satisfaction.
In part one you learned how to follow a thought deeper and deeper to get to the underlying truth or belief.
Another excellent strategy for getting to your truth is by asking a simple question, “Where did you get that idea?”
Often you’ll find that you are working with erroneous, outdated beliefs that were set in your mind during some past experience and never revisited again.
In my interview with Morty Lefkoe about Overcoming Limiting Beliefs (part of the monthly membership in the Mastery Interview series in Revive Her Drive) he explains:
“Well there’s some sense in which every belief is a limitation, because the belief is something we make up in our mind about reality.
So early in life we make up beliefs about ourselves – “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not important” or “I’m powerless.”
We make up beliefs about people – people can’t be trusted or relationships are difficult.
We make up beliefs about life – “I’ll never get what I want” or “Life is difficult or dangerous.”
There are things that happen in the world. But we then give meaning to those events in the world, and those are our beliefs. And we’re then limited by the way we view reality rather than what’s really in reality. So there’s a sense in which all of those beliefs in a sense are limiting. Some are much more limiting than others, but to some extent, all of the meaning we make up to explain what’s happening in the world.
We’ve discovered, in 26 years of working with tens of thousands of people, that virtually any problem that people have – and this can range from serious psychological issues like depression or eating disorders or phobias, to the everyday things of worrying what people think of us and fear of public speaking or procrastination – all of them can be traced to these beliefs.
And when the beliefs are eliminated, the problem goes away. Now in the area that you’re talking about (sex)*, it’s perfectly understandable that if somebody is afraid to be intimate, either in terms of conversation and sharing personal feelings or in terms of sex, there’s some belief that’s stopping them. And in all cases, what you want to get at is what specifically are people afraid of? What are they unwilling to do? What do they want to do? And then if you can find the beliefs underneath it, you can make radical change in peoples behavior and feelings by eliminating the beliefs that keep them stuck. — Morty Lefkoe, The Lefkoe Institute
* These beliefs can ruin their partner’s lives, destroy marriages, turn good guys into cheaters…
“I can’t have multiple orgasms.”
“No sex after menopause.”
“No sex after babies.”
“Oral sex is bad.”
“My body is ugly.”
There are thousands of beliefs that can ruin intimacy.
So I wanted to arm you with a process that can have profound personal change, quickly and permanently, that you might use with your partner if they have beliefs that you consider outmoded, incorrect and/or limit them from having all they deserve.
With love,
Susan Bratton