“It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover.” — Marge Piercy
Bev wants to know how to tell if a guy is trying to manipulate her with his touch and advances or if she can trust him. She read our article on The Lingering Touch and it worried her that a guy could use this incredibly sexy touch technique to take advantage of her and she wouldn’t know. Here’s my advice.
GET TOUCHED MORE OFTEN
Ladies, this one is for you, but I’ve copied the guys on our list because they are the ones dealing with the fears women have about being manipulated.
From Bev,
“The Lingering Touch technique might not be familiar to a woman. If a guy does this to us how can we determine if it’s true attraction or a contrived and skilled attempt to seduce or manipulate a woman?
How can we clearly know if this kind of “move” is genuine and truly affectionate or if it’s someone practicing a “seduction technique” just to get sexual?
What can I do to spot the difference?”
Thanks,
B.
Hi Beverly,
Use your body wisdom and intuition to ascertain a man’s intentions.
And give guys a lot of leeway because they really don’t get much practice touching women. Sometimes the “moves” they’re making may seem contrived, but that’s only because they are just getting used to having confidence to touch a woman.
I find that 95% of the time, men have good intentions and are just a little nervous. Reward men who make advances. You are in the position to decide if you want them to touch more or not.
Give a man the benefit of the doubt that he is a good guy who means well unless your body is sending off warning signals to you.
Let him know that you have your guard up and it’s important for you to be romanced and respected, if that’s what you want.
There are women who crave a one-night hot and sexy encounter. You cannot blame a guy for trying to see if you might be one of those women.
Hey, one time you might just be! If the right guy made a move on you.
Appreciate any man that offers a lingering touch, a lingering glance of sexual appreciation. At least he’s making an attempt to take you on an erotic journey.
If you’re not interested, or you want a different kind of experience with that man, just say what you want.
Guys appreciate direction and knowing where they stand.
Hope this helps.
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One Response
Thanks for this post, as obviously I wasn’t just wasting my time with my comments and queries. I am the one who is “mature,” ie, in her 60’s (there are Many of us who are actively dating and also, seeking relationships that include intimacy/sexuality).
Your response was quite respectful, and also, “logical.” Recently, I had a 3rd date with a gentleman, and from his “touching, etc.,” I realized that he had a “goal” and hadn’t yet realized that women often Will Communicate when we are Very interested, sexually – if a man will just “notice.”
I was reluctant, he was too pushy – didn’t “read” me, thinking, I believe, that it was “time” for us to get moving, fast, to be really intimate. I am a very sexual person, but felt that he was trying to move too fast, and not “reading” me. This man is accustomed to having a lot of power and control in his life, and for me, it seemed more like a ‘power struggle’ than a lovely journey through the seduction process. Glad he didn’t ring again.
I have just met a widower who is a bit shy, but worldly-wise, great “resume,” and he was obvious about wanting my number, wanting to contact me. He correctly “read” me, ie, “Go for it.”
Women do not necessarily need to be “manipulated,” but young women can be very vulnerable to “techniques.” Sadly, my daughter suffered greatly when young, due to some manipulative and exploitative males. It happens. Also, some women exploit males…even “mature-aged women,” often, for $$.
Any seduction techniques, moves, etc., must take into account “the well-being” of the “other.” Always. All males and females of Any age must always consider “ethical behaviour.”
Thanks for your attention.
Cheers,
Beverly from Brisbane