My new girlfriend tenses up so hard to orgasm I’m afraid she’s going to give herself an aneurysm!
Here’s an email I got from one of my readers.
He says his woman tenses up and gets stiff as an ironing board each time they have hot sex. He’s worried too much pleasure might be bad for her.
Looks like he needs to “get her soaking wet” and relaxed before he even considers plunging into her.
Here’s his email and my reply below.
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“Hi Susan,
I’ve only been with a few women. My current girlfriend lies on the bed and holds her vibrator on her clitoris while I’m inside her.
She tenses up so much you can see her neck muscles sticking straight out the sides of her neck. She’s as hard as an ironing board. And she struggles and struggles, almost without breathing, to even try to have a single orgasm.
I don’t feel like I can get close to her during sex.
I need your advice!
The Rubber Band Man”
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Hi Rubber Band Man,
Thanks so much for asking about this as it’s pretty common. I’ve also seen guys tense up and stroke and stroke their penis to try to get hard for sex.
And here’s the thing… relaxation is the key to coming.
Orgasms will literally bubble up out of a woman. She doesn’t need to strain.
Some guys are afraid that if they relax a woman, she will doze off and they will miss their “window of opportunity” for lovemaking.
When in fact, a woman will come more and better if she’s relaxed.
If she’s tense, stressed or trying to hard, her orgasms will be elusive.
That’s why I’m very pleased that my sexy compatriot, Gabrielle Moore has just released a new video called, Dripping Wet Secrets To Drench Your Woman’s Panties.
These flesh-on-flesh techniques show you how to touch a woman to get her relaxed, then turned on, then orgasming as you enter her.
If you’ve been going straight for her nipples and clit, you’re going to drive her away instead of pull her closer.
And frankly, I’ve found that most men are not very dexterous —they don’t have articulate fingers.
Most men are “ham-handed.” They just fumble around and touch a woman all wrong.
It pays to learn some massage skills. But not massage as in massage school.
Oh no! This is SEX Massage School! So much better!
The kind of sex massage school where your teacher strips down and shows you what to do.
Oh yeah!
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When your lady tenses up trying to orgasm, tell her to breath. Pat her lower belly and ask her to breathe deeply and puff it up all the way down by her mons pubis.
Breathe with her. Lead her like the man that you are.
Then go back to stimulating her and ask her to spread her awareness of her arousal and turn on all the way to her finger and toe tips and top of her head.
Have her breathe deeply and spread her sexual energy as you are stimulating her.
Stimulate her with well-oiled hands and keep it slippery. Check in with her on the pressure she likes.
When she tenses, breathe with her again and again.
Trust me, a good sensual massage, deep breathing and your expert guidance will get her coming easily in no time!