Module 2
Sexual shame is a big deal. It contributes to both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. It causes men to be nervous in bed, to hold back their masculinity, to shield their heart and to block connection.
Most men, and in fact most human beings have some form of sexual shame. It’s probably having more impact on your sex life than you realize. Clearing these blocks early will lay a solid foundation for the rest of the program.
In this module, you’ll learn:
- The roots of sexual shame and how sexual shame can affect your bedroom experience.
- The difference between healthy shame and toxic shame (and what to do about it).
- The 5 steps to healing sexual shame and breaking out of unhealthy relationship patterns.
- What to do about sexual shame right now, without having to go to therapy for 10 years.
Downloads for Module 2
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5 Responses
I never realized how important this audio on shame would be and how many of my life experiences would be brought forward from memory. I am 72 years old and have had two marriages. I have been celibate without sex for more than 22 years. I am ready to have a life with a woman and enjoy life as it was meant to be. At age six, I was playing doctor and nurse with my next door neighbor girl, the same age, when our parents found us. I was the one put to terrible shame even though the neighbor girl was the one to initiate the playing. Second episode when I was 10 and got into a fight with my older brother. I called him a cocksucker, not even knowing what that was at the time, and my mother heard that. My mouth was washed out with a lot of soap. When mom asked where I heard such a word, I told her, it was from my dad’s co-workers. My parents fought a lot and sometimes it was physical. They divorced, and my mothers emotions were laid upon me from 1958 until I joined the army in 1962. Thank you guys for doing such a wonderful and informative presentation on this important aspect of life. You are helping many of us to get a grip on pursuing a better and more enjoyable life. I recently met a wonderful woman and hopefully will get into a relationship again.
IF the vibe was good. Think what would be a comfortable step for you to having her elicit a yes answer to whatever option of “mundane” or next step activities you’d enjoy ; e.g. when I was in that stage – just connecting on a phone was a life, going out for a local zoo walk, going to a social square dance or other dance venue, meeting at a favorite mutual hobby shop (I’m into musical instruments and electronics), going to a inexpensive quality concert (don’t have the attachment of having spent too much $ or emotional connection if failed) or theater show, or the proverbial movie or lunch or even a park walk…. Live life, don’t stress and don’t say wish I had done this or that … take calculated chances that make you feel good about having stepped up to the inner chattering at hand, organized it and gave a soul satisfying try at connecting with a nice person. Peace..
Shame. So I started the course yesterday, pelvic floor felt pretty relaxed, and I did some pelvic rocking. Feeling good about the whole thing, I went to a dance last night, met a hot woman, danced with her (and several others), got a real good energetic response, spoke at the end of the night, traded phone numbers, hugged, kissed, and went home separately. Woke up horny, feeling good. But as the day progressed and I thought more about calling her to make a date, I started feeling weak, had indigestion, and got sleepy. This has to be shame-related! Fear of rejection? Fear of failure, embarrassment? Last night I was really on, and all the women felt it. Today I’m hiding out. Something about the excitement / challenge of a possibly willing stranger-partner scares me.
What’s my next move? Express it (Acknowledge); Recognize that at least last night I was hot (Appreciation); Be easy on myself, it’s still week one. (Acceptance). Take a breath and call her!
Hey Team.
I have a bit of an issue with the No porn rule. See, my lady enjoys it, and REALLY enjoys seeing me pleasure myself to it; its an active part of our sex life. And honestly, since I sprung even the POSSIBILITY of it on her, she’s not super-enthused about me learning all of this. Not to say she has a problem with my pleasure; she personally likes to take a deep interest and charge of it. That being said, she has admitted to having issue about me NOT ejaculating; despite the promise of elongated and expanded pleasure, she sees this as “robbing her of the prize” on some level.
Basically, she feels really accomplished and sexually fulfilled when IO cum…as in when she’s filled or covered with my juices.
As such, she’s not really supportive; not deriding yet [she doesn’t know I purchased it] but far less excited than I thought she’d be. Hence why I thought to post in the “Sexual shame” module; it kind of feels like this is something I have to keep from her until she experiences it with me.
None the less, I’m sticking to my guns and progressing, hoping to find new ways to connect to her. It’s an odd problem to be having, especially considering I have no other real issue, and any of my other possible partners would LOVE for a man to be able to enter their yoni and stay and play for hours. So I’m hoping this module has something that might be able to help me along with that.
I had a similar experience with my girlfriend when presenting the idea of non-ejaculatory orgasms. I think most women define an “orgasm” for men to be the same as ejaculating, and they may feel some sort of failure on their part if their man doesn’t ejaculate. Of course, most women (and men) don’t realize orgasm and ejaculation can be totally separate events.