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Women’s #1 Issue With Their Sex Life

This is primarily for the ladies, but I thought my guys might like to see it.

What are women’s most prevalent issues in their sex life?

I asked this question to my female readers, and I got a TON of answers.

And I was surprised that the majority of the responses weren’t about sex itself but problems that are stopping them from enjoying extraordinary, heart-connected lovemaking with their partner.

The arrows point to one BIG culprit.

Check out some of my replies, which summarize the general issue and my solution for them below. 

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⇐ My Recommended Pulsator Toys

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⇐ Tiny Toy When Your Vagina Is “Rusty.”

sex life issues
At the Fun Factory with Kristy Stahlberg

STOP THE PAIN THAT STOPS INTIMACY

This is me with Kristy Stahlberg of Fun Factory. I visited Bremen, Germany, to meet with the team and tour the factory. I wanted to get educated on the “Porsche” of vibrators.

I learned a TON and was so impressed. They are over 25 years old as a super-premium sex toy company.

Painful Sex

“My dear tells me she gets some pain after sex. What could be the problem?”

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Once Upon A Time, I Was Too Wet. The Fountain Has Disappeared. 

“I have a huge problem. I am 74 years old and horny, to put it bluntly. But my body has betrayed me. I am dehydrated now and tight. I have been on a blood thinner for many years.  My OB-GYN refuses to give me hormone therapy. She said to use coconut oil. How? I don’t have the slightest idea of how to approach this situation. Once upon a time, I was too wet. The fountain has disappeared. Help ASAP.”

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Vagina Pain, Dryness, Lack Of LibidoYou Name It

“I’m 52, and I’ve been menopausal for two years. Been taking Amberen for five years and now switching to another brand. My problems include vaginal pain during sex, dryness, and lack of libido — you name it. I still have some pain during intercourse. I guess the friction just gets to me. I use lots of lube but still have issues.”

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The Friction Is Killing My Libido 

“So I need your help. What else can I do about being dry? The friction is killing my libido. Which lube is the longest lasting? What is the best medication to balance my hormones? I have lots of pain and burning during sex. Help.”

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Don’t Want To Try Sex Again Because Of The Pain. 

“Hi Susan, I’m a fit person, but when it comes to sex, I don’t want to try because of the pain. My husband has purchased a few toys to help me, and yes, I get some off with external help but can not cum with Intercourse. What should I do?”

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I Don’t Want To Dread Having A Sex Life.

“Hi, Susan. I haven’t had sex with another human in over four years. I have never climaxed from penetration and have difficulty stretching to accommodate even a small vaginal toy. Are there any toys that would gradually stretch me without hurting so that, when I do find a new partner, I won’t have to dread having a sex life?”

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As you can see, most women have pain during or after sex. 

Painful sex sucks because it makes you not want to have any sort of intimacy anymore with your lover. And lack of familiarity stems from a lot of problems.

Here’s the advice I gave to each woman who emailed me.

The bright idea is to masturbate and open your vaginal canal with a pleasurable tool. When you have a masturbation practice, it increases blood flow (engorgement) and arousal.

As you begin, you may need a lot of lubrication. Use copious amounts of organic avocado or sweet almond oil. 

When you use these toys a few times a week or daily, you will orgasm more efficiently, and your tissues will become softer. You will get more tumescence. You’ll have more pleasure, relax, and increase your orgasmic sensitivity and ability.

If you want to get your partner involved, you can.

I like to masturbate alone in bed in the morning after Tim gets up. I prefer to masturbate privately. Do what makes you feel most comfortable. Lock the door. Turn on the music. Make yourself comfortable and take a little time.

Only you can guide yourself with your body’s wisdom.

Of course, you can also take estrogen. You can get an estrogen cream. You can apply a compounded oxytocin cream to your vaginal tissues. You can get a vaginal restoration series of treatments like a FemiWave, Mona Lisa, FemiLift, or Viveve (this one is RF, not CO2 laser, so it penetrates more deeply. These will also help with dryness, thinning tissue, and laxity. 

For some women, it’s so painful that they have to do hormones and treatments. I did the CO2 lasers and RF devices a few years ago and am HAPPY with the results.

However, NOW there is the VFit Gold at-home vaginal restoration device. Now you can rejuvenate your vagina in the privacy of your own home with a device that lasts for years of relief. 

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⇐ Rejuvenating Your Vulva (Everything You Need To Know: How It Works, Benefits, And More)

Before you schedule a procedure or start the VFit 8-week protocol, start masturbating with a good, organic nut oil daily or as much as possible.

I suggest the Fun Factory Lady Bi, an internal vibrator with a clitoral stimulator (my favorite toy) or a pulsator/thruster that can stimulate your vaginal canal. 

The thruster is like intercourse thrusting but smooth and rhymic to get you coming without any pain… all pleasure. And it’s hands-free, so you can play with your nipples while fantasizing!

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⇐ This One Is Bigger

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⇐ This One Is Smaller

Under pulsators, I recommend the smallest, the Stronic Real. But you might want to try the StronicG as it stimulates the G-Spot.

The G-Spot holds a lot of emotion. You could be emotionally armored in your vulva, so you feel so tight. The StronicG will help soothe your feelings.

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⇐ My Recommended Pulsator Toys

The Jam is super tiny if you feel like your vagina has fused shut from dryness or lack of use. But it’s battery-powered instead of rechargeable. I still prefer the two above. 

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⇐ Battery-Powered Pleasure Toy

Use lots of lube. 

Let me know what you choose and how you do it.

2 Responses

  1. Great piece of knowledge, that is power to overcome a lot. Hi, I am Jonathan Obeng from Ghana, west Africa.
    I wish to have an apprentice experience and connect with you, seek guidance and direction on how to establish a centre here in Ghana under your auspices. Relationships are bleeding and collapsing here. Besides saving and serving the public we can also make a lot of life and money from its’ establishment, thank you.

  2. Suzan,you are the researcher but mine is just an additional point on your findings,”fore play”is very ettiential ,it arouses the sleeping hormones. When men see their women putting on faces during sex we often think we are doing a “good job” but she is in pain.
    Alla

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