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“He doesn’t want me anymore” [Mailbag]

low sex drive in men

I recently got an email from a woman (I’ll call her Mary) whose 45-year-old partner had a heart attack.

Six years later, he still has erectile dysfunction. He has always been athletic but smokes and drinks and has been eating poorly for most of his life.

After his heart attack, he started watching his diet, reduced his smoking from a whole pack to half a pack daily, and limited himself to two beers a night. He also sold his business to lower his stress. ED treatments, both oral medications and injections, did not provide a solution, and he became discouraged. But Mary feels they can have a fulfilling sex life whether he gets a stiff hard-on or not.

Mary has an intimate bond with her man that she cherishes, but over time, he has lost all interest in sex. They snuggle and share affectionate touches at night, but sex is simply off the table. She has expressed her desire to be sexual without penetration, but, like most men, he equates sex with intercourse, and if that’s not happening, he’s just not into it. 

Mary is 44 years old, has had a healthy sexual appetite, and misses him sexually touching her. She especially misses oral sex. The last time she mentioned how much she missed making love to him, he said, “I know, baby. I’ll try to give you what you want.” She took that to mean he’d try for her sake but couldn’t care less.

Mary is mystified. She doesn’t need him to have an erection for an enjoyable sexual experience. She’s even seen him orgasm when his penis wasn’t erect, and she enjoys his body in any state. But lately, it feels like pleasuring her has become a chore for him, and that’s the last thing she wants.

When they watched my Sexual Vitality Summit, they both got excited about stem cell therapy. That’s when Mary wrote to me.

I advised her not to pursue stem cell therapy for several reasons. 

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WAY BETTER THAN STEM CELL THERAPY

First, it’s costly, and with his smoking and lifestyle, it won’t be a permanent fix. Stem cells are a treatment for hard-luck cases and not the right place to start. It’s far better to focus on lifestyle issues that cost next to nothing and address the problem with a holistic approach.

Here are my specific recommendations for Mary:

  1. Get him to stop smoking. This is important, but understand that he’s addicted and may need help. He won’t be able to do it himself, so consider the many smoking cessation options. Look into hypnotherapy and nicotine gum. The bottom line is that he needs to give it up.
  2. A couple of beers isn’t nearly as important as getting rid of those cigarettes, so I suggest you let him enjoy them.
  3. Nutrition. Make sure he’s getting plenty of healthy fats and organic vegetables.
  4. Improved blood flow. Daily walks are critical, as is supplemental nitric oxide. 

And now for the hands-down best line of defense for reversing erectile dysfunction:

GAINSWave treatments. This is key to remediate the tissue in a man’s penis by removing plaque and atherosclerosis caused by smoking. Go to

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. Use my promo code (BETTER), and you’ll get your 7th session free when you pay for 6. (NOTE: Some men need three courses of treatment for 18 sessions to eliminate ED.)

Last but not least, I advised Mary to start having sensual playdates. I suggested she put it on her calendar at least once a week, preferably more! What’s beautiful about erotic playdates is that he is not required to get a hard-on. And with my program “Expanded Her Orgasm Tonight,” she can expand her orgasmic potential.

Twenty-one playdates in the Expanded Orgasm program will make it fun to be sensual together again. These sexy playdates have the added benefit of restoring a man’s confidence in getting his lover off without a hard-on. And you know what that means? Once the GAINSWave treatments start to work, he’ll be interested in making love and rekindling your fire TOGETHER.

This may sound like I’m asking Mary to become Dr. Mom… Well, I am. As a woman, I consider it my role to ensure my husband is as healthy as possible as we age. With all the breakthroughs in technology, biohacking, and medicine, there is no reason why anyone can’t have a fantastic sex life into their eighties and beyond. I plan to break the record for the most sexually active centenarian the Internet has ever seen.

So get that man’s butt down to a nearby GAINSWave practitioner, get his butt out walking daily, and take those darn cigarettes away. Do it for him until he’s healthy enough to do it alone. 

Follow this plan, and you can keep your intimacy alive. Promise!

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One Response

  1. Hello, my name is Cristina. I am
    In a similar position as Mary. I would like to ask some advice please thank you. I’m 44 as well, turning 45, single, no children, never been married. I’ve only had one long term committed relationship 5 years ago for 3 years. I’ve always had difficulty meeting someone compatible; I’ve tried through friends, online, and matchmaking companies briefly. I met my ex through a matchmaking company. When I first met him I had my doubts, we were extremely different with not much in common. We dated And fell in love. He was the only man that loved me unconditionally and respected me. We talked, went on dates, he waited for he for 3 months until I was comfortable to be intimate. I was a virgin. Sex was difficult and painful for me. I saw a sex therapist. My first time he was so nervous, he was so gentle and thoughtful and loving. After that he wanted to go fast and hard and I wasn’t comfortable with that. Since the beginning of us dating he wanted to live together. I wasn’t ready, I wanted to get married, he wasn’t ready. He proposed, we moved in together, and then everything changed. We drifted apart, I tried, maybe not hard enough? I Ended the relationship after living with him for a year. We kept in touch, talking for 6 years wondering if we could ever get back together. He’s now all of a sudden stopped talking to me. We’re we just not meant to be? Was he not being his true real honest self with he when we were dating? Our sex life did decrease as well, he said he was going through depression through work stress, I was as well, I tried to keep
    Our sex life active, we wasn’t interested, we cuddled. He turned into a complete stranger I don’t know anymore. He does smoke. He did quit when he dated me because I don’t like smoking, my uncle died of lung cancer. He had a hard time quitting, he tried hypnotherapy . Hey smokes again now and drinks, I don’t drink or smoke. We’re we just not compatible? Thank you, curious

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