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“It hurts to have sex…”

Read on to learn how to avoid painful sex.

“Sex is emotion in motion…” — Mae West.

Sexual pleasure is something most people crave. 

I say most people because a few connect sex with trauma, shame, and for some… pain.

A reader of mine sent me an email about how painful sex is for her. I can feel her sadness from her email and emotional thinking about other women like her who cannot so easily experience sexual pleasure like most of the world.

Check out her email and my response and suggestions in the article. 


“Hi, Susan,

I’m a woman in my 60s who has been taking 10mg estradiol vaginally for over ten years. I haven’t had much sex in the last four years and finally got the chance this week.

To my horror, although excited to be with this man, it hurt when he put his penis in. Truthfully, I noticed the same when I used an enormous dildo, but I figured it was because I was alien and not stimulated; and he was wider, still. I got out the lube, but that didn’t work. I had recently been to the gynecologist, and when I noticed the speculum hurt a little, I asked her if it was too tight in there, and she said there was plenty of room. 

Also, I wanted to have intercourse with him, and it was a flop. The opening will take an inch or two in, and then sharp pain happens. I’m so unhappy about this, as he is a younger man with a gorgeous (perhaps too big?) penis, and I feel like an old lady. I just watched your video on lube and realized I’d been using a silicone one. I will get the avocado oil-I to have the food-grade spray-maybe I’ll try that? Spraying in?

I’m so sad about this. It’s the first man I’ve looked forward to being with in years. He went down on me, and it was too hard and fast, but I know I first pleasured him manually and orally, really nicely, for a long time. I thought I was ready.

Any suggestions?


Kimberly (not her real name).”



Hi Beverly,

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I’m still coming around from long covid, and I have to wait until I have the brain power to reply to these emails I get.

I feel for you but don’t worry! You can remediate your vagina. The atrophy can be reversed pretty quickly. And it’s an ongoing thing to maintain your vagina for sex in your sixties, but doable!

There are several things you can do simultaneously. They are synergistic and fix various aspects of atrophy.

Consider upping your dose of intravaginal estradiol. I use both estradiol and estriol together in a cream base. Talk to your gyno. This helps reverse thinning tissue.

Get the VFit Gold intravaginal red light, vibration, and warmth device to rebuild your collagen and stimulate new vaginal mucosal lining growth. This helps so much!

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⇐ Do-It-Yourself Genital Rejuvenation + Joylux Gold App. (Use Promo Code SUSAN to get a free SHEbar) The SHEbar is a soap-free, french-milled coconut, argan, and avocado oil-enriched bar to help smooth and cleanse your delicate tissue.

how to avoid painful sex

Start taking a nitric oxide booster. As we age, we get less blood flow to our pelvis during arousal. The FLOW supplement I make is from organic fruit and vegetables and is of excellent quality. Women and their partners love it.

Up To 33% OFF On FLOW ⇐ 3 Bottles Every 3 Months Option (plus FREE Shipping for US-based orders over $50 or International Orders over $75)

Keep masturbating with an internal vibrator as much as possible. I love the Lady (bigger) or Miss (smaller) Bi as they simultaneously give you internal and external clitoral stimulation. Their soft silicone is lovely.

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⇐Two Strong Rumbling Motors For Double The Pleasure (10% OFF with Promo Code SUSAN)

Use good oil like this Hobe Avocado from Amazon.

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⇐ Hobe Avocado Oil

Consider getting an O Shot of PRP into your clitoris and inside your vagina. I just had another one — that makes 7 for me over the years. They help bring back feelings and sensations.

Click Here To Watch My Video ⇐ I Had 6 Orgasm Shots To My Clitoris (How to Avoid Painful Sex)

Start ASAP with the VFit Gold and the FLOW supplements. Masturbate often.

And learn how to give your new guy feedback during sex this way:

Click Here To Download The Sexual Soulmate Pact ⇐ The Two-Word Phrase That Ignites Passionate Lovemaking 

You got this!

2 Responses

  1. Over the past few years, it seems my wife has become hyper-sensitive to my semen. It burns and can cause her a yeast infection and/or a bladder infection. She had a full hysterectomy about 10 yrs ago. Could this be related to that? Thank you in advance.

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