Len suspects his wife is having an affair.
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He knows she spends more time out socializing than he’d prefer.
Len wants her home with the kids, with him.
And when he brings up his dismay, his voice goes high-pitched and makes him sound like a whiner.
His voice robs him of his natural, masculine authority.
This Simple Trick Instantly Lowers Your Voice
When you’re upset and your voice gets constricted, just say, “Mmmhmmm.” “Mmmhmmm,” a few times first.
Try it right now. Just say, Umhmmmmm….
This is a classic technique taught by vocal coaches to performers which instantly lowers your voice into your natural speaking range.
Then you feel grounded and more in control when you speak again.
Try it anytime you notice you’re sounding tight or fearful or you are worried your voice will shake from emotion.
Let me know how it works for you.
Oh, and the other advice I gave Len was to go through the
Relationship Values Workbook™ within
Revive Her Drive and find out what her current relationship values are.
I’m guessing, of course —and you shouldn’t guess, because you’ll most likely be wrong — but it sounds to me like Len’s wife really needs and wants a lot of freedom within her relationship right now.
If he can give her the freedom she needs, while still feeling confident she’s not cheating on him, they can likely get through this rocky time in their relationship.
Remember, women are as likely to have a “mid-life crisis” in which they want more freedom to try new things, feeling stifled by their existing relationship and feeling the fear of growing old without having zesty experiences. If this IS what’s going on with her, Len will need to amp up the variety and novelty of their sex life to keep her excited about being with him. Establishing boundaries around behavior so both parties get what they need while being in the relationship will help keep the honesty and mutual support flowing.
If she needs more freedom, perhaps they can find ways together to give her that in a way that still makes Len feel secure in their relationship. Thinking out of the box, creating new rules that support both partners needs is important as you both change and grow throughout your lives.
What worked for you at 30, will change at 40, at 50… Our desires and needs in a relationship change. Instead of letting it scare you, face it head on, ask your partner what their current Relationship Values are and work with what IS, not what you wish was.
And remember, when you are stressed by anything, making the Umhummmmm… sound will lower your voice and make you feel more grounded.
Note: Did you know you can get my new eBook bonus, “30 Romance Tricks That Work Like Magic?”
I’m giving it away to every customer of Personal Life Media in December and you have until the end of the month to purchase any program from us to qualify for the free ebook.
By:
Susan Bratton
2 Responses
i feel great about your material you teach,besides being inspirational it motivates one and opens up new horizons in relationship circles.i would like to have the 30 romance tricks books and the 500 communication tips book.the problem is i am in zimbabwe,africa and do not have a visa or any modern payment methods.my address is 18951 unit L,seke south,chitungwiza,Zimbabwe.thank you
Your advise is on the money. My wife and I went through exactly what you described.
We talked, I felt better, gave her more space and now we’re better than ever.
Always with Great Advise.
Thanks