Are you familiar with the term “PUA?” Do you have “Game?”
A “PUA” is a “pick up artist.” These guys go into bars, or where ever women are, and use certain skills and techniques to create rapport with women. These skills are called, “Game.”
Though sometimes PUA’s have a bad reputation, either for using canned tactics or for manipulating women using black hat psychology tricks, there’s a thriving community of warm-hearted, women-loving teachers of seduction who simply want to help guys meet women and live confident happy lives.
Carlos Xuma is one of them. His “Best Pick Up Lines” is extremely well organized and starts off with an overview of the psychology and underlying principles that are used to teach you their routines.
You can get a free Cheat Sheet from Carlos that will come in very handy as you move about your daily life and look for great women to talk to.
Carlos also has a whole product fabulously called Bad Ass Body Language.
When you learn pick up routines, make sure you get plenty of options to make them congruent with your specific personality and style. There are many tactics from which to choose during the whole process:
- Foundations
- Openers
- Transitioning to Attraction
- Attraction
- Transitioning to Comfort
- Comfort
- Seduction
- and Creating Your Own Routine
For example, when you are doing Openers, there are Direct, Opinion, Funny and Negs. These work best with young men and women. I doubt any of the Negs would work on more self-assured, mature women. But they probably work very well on the pretty girls who are always surrounded by a bunch of slathering dudes who want to get in their pants.
In the Transition to Attraction, after you approach them with openers, a particular style of Cold Read reminded me greatly of Dr. Patti Taylor’s advice in Seduce Her Tonight about “Vigilance.” The art of noticing and putting attention on your woman is the first step in seduction.
Attraction routines leverage what women want in a man – social skills, intelligence, and enough self-confidence to pull their heads out of their own asses and focus on the woman. Whether you call it “vigilance” or “cold reads” – it’s the noticing things about a woman that show you have your attention on her.
That’s a turn on, guys!
And as a touchy-feely kind of gal, I’ve always loved grabbing people, hugging them, holding their hand, touching their arm. Men and women alike love to be touched. And it’s nothing to me to touch a stranger the first time I talk to them. I think the world would be a much better place if we all got more skin on skin attention. And in the PUA’s Game, they teach KINO techniques, which are kinesthetic pings, physical escalation, that starts early, without being creepy, so natural attraction can germinate.
If you don’t feel like you can touch a girl when you meet her and talk to her another great resource is Conversation Chemistry which has some easy routines that can feel very natural.
Remember, girls get attracted to guys all the time, and you have to learn to stand out. Knowing KINO techniques show a level of confidence and willingness to be intimate that can be the determining factor between someone who gets remembered and someone who fades into obscurity after the haze of cocktails and conversation.
A brush of her arm, a stroke on her cheek and the next day when you text her, she remembers the good feelings you created in her body… and wants more.
The one part of pick up that can go very wrong are what are called “Releases.”
This is where you are nice to a girl, but then you stop and take away your attention or “neg” them. I’m sure they are psychologically accurate as a tactic for not becoming too slavish, but the particular negs and releases in many pick up programs are very sophomoric. Again, PUA’s target 20-somethings, maybe early 30-somethings, so it’s through my 40-something filter that I rejected the style of the releases and the negs.
I feel very good about recommending Bad Ass Body Language, Best Pick Up Lines and Conversation Chemistry to quickly get an overview of what to do if you want to interact with beautiful girls and need the confidence to not only approach them, but create rapport and learn how to seduce them.
Guys, we want you to flirt with us. We want you to seduce us. We want your attention, your touch. So if you have ANY lack of confidence about what to do, try out these DVDs for goodness sake!
My very, very favorite part of pick up is the fascinating and spot-on psychology used to create Advanced Comfort.
So, you have a girl on the hook. She’s interested in you. You want to create a connection so she’ll be warmed up for the seduction that’s about to come forth. You have three killer options. 1) Be an man of passion and purpose 2) See her how she wants to be seen and 3) Use hot and cold strategies.
Now, I don’t want to give everything away here, because this is such rich stuff and so frigging insightful, but I’ll give you a taste…
You can actually begin overcoming her resistance to having sex with you in advance by showing up as a guy with a purpose. Women are biologically attracted to men who have their shit together and know where they are going in the world. The only thing sexier than a man on a mission is a man sitting on a pile of gold.
Discover how to understand HER value system and find matches in your own value system with hers. She wants you to “get her” and on terms that matter to her.
Note: If you don’t know your purpose in life and aren’t sure what your personal value system is, check this post out.
The last super-duper gem I have to share with you is a fun game that came from Howard Stern’s show and was re-purposed into an Attraction Routine. It’s called, Murder, Marry, Shag. You play this game, typically in a bar, where you pick three guys (the uglier the better, so you look even more appealing) out for her and she has to tell you which she’d murder, which she’d marry and which she’d shag.
I’m definitely going to play this the next time I’m out with friends. As long as it’s not at anyone’s expense, it sounds like a fun ice-breaker. Even better, it gets her thinking about how well you compare to the rest of the Neanderthals in the bar. Simply brilliant and fun! (oh, one more cool thing, you learn how to role play to take her on a mental journey – that’s fun too)
First, it helps you get confidence to approach women and teaches you to move them through to seduction. Secondly, you get some super fun ideas for interacting. Third, it’s going to increase your connections to fun women. Fourth, you’ll have more social skills. Fifth, you might actually get laid! Yayayayayayyay!
Oh my god, oh my god, I almost forgot. There’s ONE MORE THING I loved! It was how to handle “last minute resistance.” They call it, “LMR,” of course. 😉 When you are seducing her, she’s going to resist. Say you are making out and she says, “oh no, this is going too fast, we should stop.” You can either say, “oh yes, we should stop,” and keep kissing her, or you can actually stop and let her catch up and show interest in you. The DVD is very responsible about underscoring “when she says, no, she means no and you must stop.” But if she says, “should,” she’s just expressing concern but would really like to keep going.
These check ins are important and you have to know that it’s probably not about YOU. Most often, she wants to stop because of societal limitations, not because she doesn’t want to make out with you!
This is valuable advice for single and married men alike.
I encourage you to learn pick up techniques and use it in your own life, on women you see and want to know, or your girlfriend or your wife. It’s fun to watch it together and see what she’d like you to do to her.
So snuggle up on the couch together and use this as a learning experience to create deeper intimacy with your gal. Or start memorizing the easy routines and trying them out so you can stack up your calendar with dates with hotties!
We want you to connect with us. We want to have great sex with you. Please, please, be strong, confident and make your moves! We’re ready and waiting.