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Why Robert Didn’t Get To Make Love To Karen – Avoidable Mistakes If You Know the 4 Seduction Keys

Why Robert Didn’t Get To Make Love To Karen – Avoidable Mistakes If You Know the 4 Seduction Keys

My friend, Robert, told me about a night with his wife, Karen, where he knew she WANTED to have sex, and it didn’t happen, because he felt like he didn’t make the right moves.

So I gave him advice through the filter of the 4 Keys to Seduction. These keys are so great for every seduction ‘situation.’

I’ve been very involved in helping Dr. Patti launch her Seduction Trilogy and I am now able to apply the Four Keys to Seduction to give momentum advice to my male friends. The Keys are:

  • Small Offers (start small so it’s an easy “yes”)
  • Erotic Vigilance (pay attention to her so you know what to offer)
  • Vulnerability (own and state your own needs and desires with integrity)
  • Vision (be the leader in the sexual relationship and show her possibilities)

Here’s what happened.

Robert had a date night with Karen.

She came home frazzled from a big day where she was doing a live, on-stage presentation.

He came home after a stressful day getting a million things done.

Robert was stinky.

He offered to take Karen into the shower with her.

She declined.

That was his first mistake.

He should have made her a “String of Small Offers.”

“I’m going to take a shower, would you like to join me so we’re relaxed and clean?”

“Or would you prefer to lie down on the couch for a minute and let me bring you a glass of wine?’

“Or would you like a foot rub (or any area massaged) when I get out of the shower and you can tell me about your day?”

With this menu, there’s a good chance that Robert, knowing Karen as well as he does, would hit on something that would be an easy “yes.”

Once he gets his first “yes,” he uses Erotic Vigilance to notice how she’s unfolding – is she getting closer to arousal, staying neutral or going negative?

Let’s say she wants a glass of wine, a neck rub and to tell Robert about her day. Instead of what happened, which is that she ate some cereal and went into bed to watch TV and ignored Robert when he got out of the shower.

Robert is clean, he’s on the couch, rubbing her neck, just listening.

Then he makes her another “String of Small Offers.”

“Honey, I can feel you relaxing. Can we go make some dinner and then can I take you into the bedroom and give you a full body massage?”

“Or would you like to get some Chinese food delivered and we can eat in bed on TV trays and talk some more?”

“Or would you like me to take you out and then bring you home and make sweet, sloooooow, love to you?”

By offering these options, Robert doesn’t care what they eat, and he’d just like to make love to her. Forget the chop suey!

But by giving her these choices, she’s empowered to choose what would make her most comfortable. And he’s offered some Vision, by describing the possibilities. Karen knows he wants to make love. He’s expressed his desire, which is the Key of Vulnerability.

Robert needs to move Karen from negative to neutral to positive arousal. In Dr. Patti’s Seduction Trilogy, you can learn exactly how to apply the Four Keys of Seduction to your life, your wife, your women, your girlfriends.

[Here’s another story of Tom and Lisa where I applied the Keys.]

Download our free eBook and discover more how to seduce your woman!


  1. I like the clear example of “string of small offers”. Gives good ideas as well as making it easier to understand what you mean when you offer the advice of using string of offers

    • Yes, it’s a beautiful system that works on anyone, Man or Woman. If you want to get really good, the Seduction Trilogy teaches you all the nuances of the four keys to seduction, of which, small offers is only one. Plus, the ebooks are incredibly sexy to listen to! 🙂

  2. First off, I’m not speaking from experience here, so take with a grain of salt.

    Isn’t he trying too hard?, and saying too much. Example of simpler offer; ” Why don’t you lie down on the couch hunny and I’m bring you a glass of wine”. This change of wording changes how it comes across. He has also made it clear what he wants and why he is ‘sucking up to her’ (please don’t take that comment as too critical, the tone of what he says to her fits that description). By making it obvious why he is offering to do these things for her, I have read that this ruins his chances for sex, he has an expectation instead on just doing something nice for his Girlfriend or wife.

  3. It is just as easy as Patti suggests. Make several casual offers. NOT, “would you like sex now or later?”

    My woman is in Ukraine. So my small messages are easy. Keep them simple so that a yes or no is easy for you to accept. And not some giant earthshaking problem such as “shall the USA invade Africa?”
    It is simple, do not complicate Patti’s idea.
    And do not worry so much. Just do it.
    Matt Donnelly

  4. The Keys are:

    Small Offers (start small so it’s an easy “yes”)
    Erotic Vigilance -say yes to her but do not take her to bed on day one pend it for tomorrow by taking her to beach
    Vulnerability –tell her you want to know more about her and get a rest
    Vision -maintain the sexual relationship vision by keepin her more focused that how could you finger her or lick he vagina and demonstrate her but do not ignite her–keep hr urge on
    women can be tasted best when their thirst is left unfilled–so you can have great sex next day–his is how i feel

  5. It makes sense, of course, but why is it always Robert’s job to do these things? If she really wanted sex, she would’ve done what most women do: take him by the hand and take him to the bedroom (that’s the woman’s perspective on fore-play….). These small offers are a nice idea, but when one has been married 20 years, it is easily seen through and if your woman doesn’t feel like having sex, she probably sees it more like sexual harassment than seduction: it would be better to just give her that glass of wine and forget about it for now. Or if you do have to pussy-foot around it like that, get another wife!

    • Men are given the genes/makeup to be leaders. How we lead whether it is as one is who is one step ahead and with one hand behind you to hold, support and pull your partner for the next step that she is to t ake or whether it is to to be 10 steps ahead and say, “git over here” one is with concern of the other’s journey, the other comes across purely as personal desire. It the depends on the partners state of mind as to which is best at that time.

  6. sex is most important ( a yoga )

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