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Spongy and Draggy + Four Kinds of Touch

Spongy and Draggy + Four Kinds of Touch

This is an excerpt from Susan Bratton’s (the CEO of our company) upcoming Seduction Summit program. In this interview with the fascinating Sheri Winston, she and Sheri talk about different kinds of touches.

Susan relates two touch strategies she learned from Dr. Patti Taylor’s free ebook, Touch for Rapture (get it here).

Susan Bratton: When you’re saying if you’re touching my thigh and you’re only doing it to get into my pants versus touching it for the pure exquisite beauty of touching it, there are two types of touching strokes that Patti has been explaining to me, and they might help men get more into that touch, that moment of opening with a woman.

Dr. Patti says there are millions of kinds of strokes, but specifically there are  two categories of strokes that especially well in communicating with your partner when they’re doing something to you that you don’t exactly like and you want to give them some feedback, but you don’t want to make them feel badly; draggy and spongy.

And when you’re touching a woman’s thigh and you’re doing a draggy stroke on it, and you’d be touching any part of her, the draggy stroke is a time/space stroke where you are, not only thinking about where your fingers just were, but where they are right now and where they’re going. You’re remembering the actual experience of the stroke, the touch that you’re giving. It makes that, the attention that you have to put on noticing the stroke, makes the stroke a more connected stroke between the two of you and a better stroke you can deliver.

Sheri Winston: What’s the spongy one?

Susan Bratton: Spongy is when – and sometimes this is if there’s clitoral fatigue, too much pressure, too much rubbing in one spot – a woman can say to her lover “Can you go spongy?” And spongy is an expansion of the touch.

All of the sudden your hand or your lips or whatever it might be, they’re like pulling up into a puffing, into a sponge that allows you to just deliver a bigger more open wide lighter more feeling it in the edges of your skin, and it changes things up because there is no such thing as a spongy touch. So what it does is it gives you a way to slowly with a lot of continuity of your touch just, you don’t pull your hands off and start over, you just adjust the touch so that it just feels like it has more expansiveness to it. And women tend to like that feeling of expansiveness, as well as that draggy feeling of the other touch. I don’t know if that helps guys or not, but those were helpful for my husband and I in our Expanded Orgasm practice.

Sheri Winston: I do a lot of work with touch. In fact, one of my original trainings is as a massage therapist, so I do a lot, lot, lot of stuff with touch, and I think it’s, again, one of the areas in our culture that many people haven’t really learned about all of the languages of touch and the wonderful vocabulary of touch we can develop.

Since we’re on the touch subject, I think there are four basic languages of touch.

  • There’s touch that makes us feel nurtured and accepted.That’s the kind of touch that we would give a baby and it’s completely non-sexual.

  • There’s therapeutic touch, touch that’s there for healing.

  • There’s sensual touch, touch that’s just designed to delight our senses and helps us move into our sensual trance.

  • And then there’s sexual touch, touch that’s specifically designed to arouse and stimulate.

And part of what happens with partners is we tend to not get this whole spectrum of touching from our partners. And when we do it really enhances things.

The nurturing touch; everybody needs the nurturing touch sometimes, and it’s really important to create trust with a partner that sometimes we can get that nurturing touch and it is completely non-sexual, and it needs to be, right.

It’ll get ruined if you’re being cradled by your partner and being parented by your partner, if then your partner grabs your boob for example, right, ‘cause that’s more like the incest kind of transgressive touch and that ruins it.

But creating times when we’re touching in just that nurturing way, that can transition to another kind of touch, the therapeutic touch, the “Oh your shoulders are tight.”

And they say one of the great forms of foreplay that’s often left out is massage, where it’s been a long day, my neck hurts and if my partner says, “Hey, why don’t you get on the massage table for 20 minutes and let me just unkink your neck,” that is so hot. People do not understand that taking care of me in that way is going to help me feel safe, it’s going to help me relax and release. And then I’m much more likely to want to move into a more playful and erotic touch. And then the sensual touch is what gets us into our trance state. The sensual touch is another really important ingredient, and all that can be a foundation for the sexual touch.

With love,
Sloane Fox



  1. Ok, you do understand of course that for the most part we are lumberjacks and you need to really go into the how and why of the thing.

    • Thanks, David. What about this do you need more how and why? Happy to provide. What part don’t you understand?

  2. Hi, Susan
    Like David I too had to read between the lines of your brief dialogue with (Shari). Thev4 types of touch were distinctive enough to immediately grasp, but what you address is not self-understood.

  3. I would like to understand the nature of spongy touch more. So I can communicate to my husband what going spongy is. I think I know what you mean by clitoral fatigue with it becoming too intense form him rubbing in one location or that kind of mashing thing men sometimes do where they put a few fingers on your clitoris and just squash it around in circles.

    • Hi Emily,
      There is all sorts of wonderful clitoral stroking instruction in Expand Her Orgasm Tonight. Why don’t you and your husband get the program and do the 21 erotic play dates together to learn how to do this practice? Sounds like he would benefit as much as you!

      • Dearest Susan:

        I agree that the “touch technique”
        particularly with CLITORAL stimulation
        I feel that I will be able to get my
        assignee through that step. Worked with my wife but she has subsequently decided to stop intercourse all the way AND ALL OTHER F0RMS OF SEXUAL

        • Why did your wife stop all sexual activity? What is an assignee?

  4. I tried the touch technique and it worked perfectly well for me. The success from the touch led me to sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. Thank you, Angel Susan. I need more of you.

  5. I totally am lost in your explanation of spongy. My wife does not even understand what your are saying.

    I do understand clitoral over stimulation and the need to change things up. Just do not understand how I would go spongy with my fingers or tong. I use several finger moves and I switch back and forth when needed. But I do not understand spongy.


  6. The spongy draggy touch is when you stick two fingers in her pussy ,curl the tips of your fingers up putting pressure while you pull them out slowly till you get too the spongy area were the g spot is, hope this helps lol

  7. What is the secret part of a woman’s body?

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