Susan, I am tired of competing with the TV for my wife’s affection, time and most importantly sex. I have made this abundantly clear in the past that I have no intention of competing with the TV, yet she still does it. It’s SO hard to let go of the anger and resentment… I know this will not cure overnight, but by the same token, I’m so afraid that one more time and I’ll ask for a divorce. I just can’t take it anymore. It’s SO hard to not get angry. I’m so afraid I don’t have the stamina to forge ahead, unfazed….
I’m glad you asked me about this because it’s maddening for so many men. Thank you for your trust.
This is a multi-step turn around process, so as I always remind men, go slowly!
Tonight, sit next to her on the couch (if she’s in a chair, go over and get her out of it and bring her to sit next to you on the sofa) and just hold her in your arms while she watches TV.
Stroke her hair, pet her hair like a kitty cat, from the top down, lightly.
Do not ask for sex. Do not think about sex. Just focus on using your hands and body language to make her feel safe, loved, secure, warm, taken care of and treasured.
For many women, their #1 Relationship Value is to be cherished.
When you get mad at her for not giving you sex, you stop cherishing her and it just spirals downward.
As the man who is leading her back into her sensuality, you must show her attention, affection, appreciation and romance.
That’s what is in the Stealth Turn Around Tricks ebook – the things a woman finds romantic, that make her feel cherished.
What you are doing, by holding her on the couch and petting her, is “claiming her.”
(Listen to Erotic Communication with Adam Gilad within Revive Her Drive to learn more about “claiming her.”)
Tomorrow, go out to the organic grocery store and purchase some nice avocado or coconut oil from a health food store – fragrance-free/food grade. If you can get one of those little plastic travel squeeze bottles from the drug store, transfer some oil into that (flip top is best) and warm it in the sink in hot water when you get home and she’s headed for the TV.
Get a clean bath towel and have some warm massage oil ready.
Go into the living room and put her on the couch if she’s not there already. Tell her you are going to just give her some foot love while she watches TV.
Lean her back on the couch with her feet up in your lap on a big soft towel and give her a foot rub.
Enjoy yourself. Find your own sensuality and turn-on in stroking her feet with nurturing, healing and sensual strokes on her feet and ankles.
(Listen to Sheri Winston’s Zone Theory and 5 Kinds of Touch in the Secret Arousal Maps module.)
Don’t make this sexual in any way. You are cherishing her here – waking her body up through her feet – which are extremely erogenous for women.
Enjoy working oil into her feet and loving her feet for 15 minutes.
Then rub her feet clean with the towel, get up, kiss her on the forehead and tell her you’re going in to bed to read for a while or what ever.
Give her attention, and then move on before she can reject you sexually.
Email me and tell me how this goes. What worked, what didn’t, where did you get push back or have fear.
Remember, it’s not her fault that she’s not feeling sexual.
Love Chemicals and romance have faded. You are on your turn-around plan now. Go patiently and slowly.
You can turn her around.
With Love,
Susan Bratton
2 Responses
John
Yes it is competing with the TV. I have tried all this and she still stays glued to the TV till 2 and 3 am then comes to bed. I will try the coconut oil again.
It’s tough to compete with the Boob Tube.