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"I had no idea my desire is being stunted by past disappointments."

"I had no idea my desire is being stunted by past disappointments."

Sometimes illness mutes desire.

Sometimes lack of passionate sex depresses you.

Here’s what to do to get your life force flowing again:

Dear Susan,

Thank you for forwarding me the information on overcoming past pain and failures.

I had no idea that my desire could be stunted by my past experiences.

But when my wife comes in I find ways to avoid any intimacy with her. I don’t remember a great deal of my personality prior to my illness, but I seem to have ignored her emotional needs for many years.

So, she has withdrawn from me. We are roommates without benefits. So, I guessing I need to face my great disappointments and find a way to not blame my wife for them. I need to face my fears and disappointments first before I can feel more desire.

– Ron

Hi Ron, In facing your fears and disappointments and really feeling them, sitting with them, grieving for all you have lost, you will at the same time be opening your heart to more love, more happiness and more joy.

Because you see, the heart is a big door. It’s OPEN or it’s CLOSED. You might have it a bit ajar and be feeling a little of everything, but once you feel ALL your feelings, especially the hard ones, the love can get in there in a big way too.

Crack your heart open.

Grieve for your losses and frustration.

Then let it all go and start giving out all the love you can.

Detach your giving of love from sex.

Just start with romance.

Then add some hugging, stroking, cuddling, breathing together.

Take your time and enjoy the adolescent desires begin again when ever your body and soul are ready.

Let your wife just hold you.

Hold your wife and just pour love out of your heart and into her being.

Soon you will find the loss and sadness melting away and in its place, so much love, all the love you want, need, crave as does your wife.

I recommend Deborah Anapol’s book, The 7 Natural Laws of Love as a great way to forgive and forget life for what’s happened to you and to learn how to let a lot more love into your heart and your life.


Susan, I was required to see neuro psychologists for 3 years after my illness. Why didn’t I learn this from them? You are a gift from God!

– Ron

Thank you, darling Ron,

I would really suggest you start with Expand Her Orgasm Tonight – our 21 day program for couples.

It’s you giving your wife a genital massage that includes feeling each other energetically and through Tantric touch.

It’s beautiful, life-affirming and will fill your heart with love again.

Expanded Orgasm is a great way to ease back in to sensuality together in a really sweet way.

And you do the 21 play dates at your leisure and over time, you have so much fun and get reconnected.

Someone’s knocking on the door.

Someone’s ringing the bell.

Do me a a favor.

Open the door.

Let her in.

With love,
Susan Bratton

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