When you show up honest and real, you become more attractive and confident to your partner and to everyone in your life.
When you’re in the present, instead of worrying how things will turn out, you are simply enjoying a sense of excitement and aliveness in the moment.
Do you get flustered or lose your effectiveness in the face of confrontation, conflict, negative feedback or others’ attempts to control you?
Do you find it hard to communicate your needs or boundaries?
Or perhaps there is a power struggle or disagreement between you and your partner that is draining your energy?
By practicing honest communication you can discover the freedom that comes from being “real, unique, and open to surprise.”
In this dialog with one of my mentors, Dr. Susan Campbell, she de-mystifies the process of being completely honest by introducing some simple phrases that immediately bring your interactions into present time.
One is, “When I hear you say _____________________, I feel _________________.”
It’s just that simple to entirely recreate a new level of open, positive, juicy communication with your partner.
Instead of getting caught up in old communication patterns (such as the need to justify, explain, or impress), this module will make it easy to say what you really feel, think, and want with clarity and presence.
This dialog is a primer for becoming a more conscious, courageous, and loving human being.
Learning these truth skills allows you to communicate your truth responsibly and compassionately.
Good relationships — especially those with friends, family, lovers — are founded upon good communication. Therein lies the challenge. “It’s a challenge because most communication problems stem from attempts to control the end result. The attempts show up as various defense mechanisms and only serve to cause communication breakdown and in some cases break-ups,” says Campbell. Good communication is dependent on understanding our own authentic feelings and being able to clearly express them “which can be hard to do if you don’t know how.”
As Dr. Campbell explains honest, authentic communication requires letting down guards and clearly expressing thoughts and feelings. The key is staying present in the moment. Dr. Campbell focuses on seven statements designed to enhance one’s capacity for love and trust by bringing their awareness into the spiritual practice of staying in the present moment. Learning to use such phrases as “Hearing you say that, I feel…,” and “I hear you, and I have a different perspective,” allows readers to clearly express themselves and remain present versus trying to control the future outcome. By relating more and controlling less, readers will see their communications take on a quality of caring, openness, and authenticity that naturally engenders respect and love from those they’re close to. After all, when communication skills grow healthier, healthier relationships can’t be far behind!
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after reading this I am going to revise my draft message to my son Andy.