If you want really hot, steamy off-the-hook sex and you want a lot of it, the single best thing you can learn to do is to create an environment where your woman can relax and “drop in” to her physical body and feel fully relaxed and safe.
I call this “enrolling her in pleasure that becomes erotic.”
Your lover will need to completely trust you to surrender to the animalistic passion inside her. It’s easy to create that trust if you know what to do. See the things you’ll need to know from the “Surrender & Trust” ebook from Revive Her Drive below.
Surrender & Trust eBook Seduction Summit
- Ruthlessly Expressive Sexuality and Her Four Needs
- Pacing, Leading, Pre-Frames and the Voice of Authority
- Enrolling Her In Pleasure That Becomes Erotic
- Leadership (Dominance) and Submission
- Don’t Be A ‘Need-Hole’ — Sweep Her Off Her Feet
- Truth: Women Are Highly Sexual Creatures
- “Take Over, Baby. I’m All Yours”
- 3 Things You Can Do To Support Her Sexual Surrender
- What Is “Holding Space?”
- Ways to Engender Her Trust
- Overcoming Her 3 Big Objections To Having Sex With You
- Your Ejaculatory Management = Her Relaxation Into Surrender
- Opening Her Into Her Sensual Reality
- Activating Her Heart
- Experiences that Transport Her
- Releasing Her “Inner Slut”
The First Thing You’ll Do
The first thing you’ll do is remind your lady about how nice it is just to let go of her worries and feel your touch. Click here to read more about The Four Kinds of Touch. This is called, “being in the moment.” You must be present and stay involved in the moment too. Click here to read more about Presence: The #1 Thing She Wants From You.
Start by redirect energy and awareness from your head down into your body. Lead the way and show her that you are doing this and she will want to join you.
Stop worrying, planning and thinking ahead — just relax and BE — and ask her to join you in a relaxing moment.
Connect With Her Physically
Hold her in your arms. Kiss her head, her eyelids, her checks. Don’t touch her sexually. Just give her nuturing, loving touch at first until she sends signals that she wants more sensual stroking. Start from the outside in, using the Zone Theory taught in Revive Her Drive.
When she’s in your arms, do a mutual body scan… How do you feel? Is there tension? If so, take turns massage the areas of tension on each other’s body.
Deepen Her Breathing By Deepening Yours
Now bring in your breath. Lead her by taking a deep breath and then exhaling in a way that relaxes you. Do this a few times and see if you can send her body messages to follow you and breathe more deeply. As she relaxes further, keep holding her. Don’t crush her. Don’t breathe in her face. Don’t squish her breasts. Just hold her solidly and securely as you breathe with her.
Hum a little in her ear. It will relax you even further. Which will relax her more.
Verbalize Safety
Use positive affirmations to let go of stress, anxiety, tension or panic feelings. Say, “Everything is fine. You are OK. Don’t worry about anything right now. I have you safe in my arms, baby.”
Get Her Out Of Her Head
What you’re doing is helping her get out of her head. If she’s bolluxed up in mental gymnastics, her body will be in fright or flight mode. As I teach in my Seduction Trilogy, you need to move your lady from being aroused by flight or fight or freeze or feed into arousal for fornicating or making love. All of these are modes of arousal and you will be the alchemist who converts flight/fright/freeze or feed into the arousal for lovemaking.
Soon she’ll start feeling her body sensations. Gently bring her awareness to the pleasurable sensations she’s feeling. Help her relax and enjoy your touch. Hold her body close to yours. But make sure you keep it sensual, not sexual. If she thinks you’re just try to “get sex,” she’ll shut down, get up and leave you lying there wondering where you went wrong.
There’s one more thing you can do to make all of this work even more delightfully. And that is taking her out for a walk in nature, to a Yoga class or out dancing. These three things: Nature, Yoga and Dancing are all considered “mindfulness” practices that actually “get you in your body.”
So if you partner has trouble letting go and surrendering to her sexuality, you can easily create the conditions for her relaxation into pleasure.