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When To Tell The Truth In A Relationship

When To Tell The Truth In A Relationship


Is there such a thing about too much honesty? Well, yes.

Authenticity is NOT the answer to every problem.

I mean, it’s good… but it doesn’t solve everything, and it can make many situations much worse when it’s not applied intelligently.

Like when men ask, “Well what if what is authentically true for me in that moment is that I want to have sex?”

Well… that can sometimes work… but most of the time it’s an idiotic thing to blurt out, she’ll find it insulting, and the interaction will be over.

Something similar might be the case if a woman meets a man that is wildly handsome and charming and she says, quite truthfully, “look, I’ve been hurt before, so I really wish you would tell me right now that I sleep with you, we’ll be completely exclusive from day one.”

So should we be truthful about what we feel, or not?

The short answer is YES, we should always tell the truth.

The more complicated and useful answer is that we should tell the truth WHEN it’s appropriate, and in the RIGHT SEQUENCE with other things that are also true, and also important.

My good friend, relationship and sex coach Alex Allman talks about it on his website.

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⇐ When To Be 100% Authentic In Your Relationships (And When Not To)


This is NOT a matter of RULES.  There is no sequence map of when things ought to be said, and what order things must be said in.

Actually it is more a matter of knowing when you should be communicating with your logical MIND, when you should be letting your BODY do the talking, and when you should be opening your HEART.

This might sound complicated, but it’s EASY to get this right once you understand the basics of Sexual Communication.

Should you tell her that your falling in love with her?

Should you tell him that you once slept with one of his friends?

How do you tell her that you want be “more than just friends?”

How do you tell him that you’re not sexually satisfied, and that you want to try something new in the bedroom?

Believe it or not, there is a simple trick for getting this stuff right every time.

Sexual Communication is an entirely different thing from “pick up” techniques if you’re single, or the “active listening” you might learn in couples counseling.

But it is authentic, and it’s powerful, and it’s going to get you a lot more of what you really want in your relationships with the opposite sex.

And that is why I strongly recommend to every one of my readers.

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