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How to Revive Your Sex Life: Addressing Climax Concerns (Mailbag)

I’ve talked a lot about the Orgasm Gap before. 

It’s the notion that men experience more orgasms than women in their relationship because it’s much easier for a guy to reach his peak pleasure during intercourse than a woman. 

But that’s not always the case. 

One of my fans just sent an email that is quite the opposite. He can’t achieve climax.

Check out her email and my response below. 


“My husband of 25 yrs recently isn’t cumming during sex, so now I am finishing him off with a hand/blow job or anal stimulation. I’m trying not to take it personally, but I would like to know more about it. He’s 59, and I’m 50. Just looking for some understanding on what we need to do.” — Christi (not her real name)


Hi Christi, 

Let’s play detective to see what might be contributing to his difficulty achieving climax. This is VERY common with older men. Multivariate issues can drive sensation loss. So let’s break it down.

First, how often is he watching porn?

Sometimes it’s a dopamine or neurotransmitter issue. Men who often watch porn get so used to the hyperstimulation they get desensitized to absolute pleasure with a lover.

Does he have diabetes? 

It’s also been found that those with diabetes often feel less sensation and pleasure than people without this disease due to neuropathy.

Is he on anti-depressants or other medications that make it challenging to climax? 

This has been an issue for some of my fans and readers. 

Or is this simply part of the way he is aging? It’s common for both sexes to lose sensitivity as we age. 

If it’s aging, GAINSWave treatments or the Phoenix Pro could stimulate new nerve and tissue growth to increase his sensitivity. 

My husband has been lucky enough to have GAINSWave treatments yearly for the last three years and used the Phoenix Pro. 

Reversing atrophy by using a penis pump could also help.

And the P Shot or Priapus shot would be the first thing I’d use.

You can learn about those three things here: 

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There is also the issue of his heart and emotion. Is there anything going on outside the bedroom with you two? Is he angry with you? Do you think he might not find you attractive now? For some guys, a visual or emotional component prevents them from achieving climax.

It’s common to have sensitivity loss as we age — the tissue atrophies. The treatments listed above can restore sensitivity — but if it’s medical, porn or attraction, or anger, you must address those.

Each person is different. So, the reasons could run this gamut.

Talk through these options with him. Let me know what you find out and decide. 

2 Responses

  1. Michael
    Good point..
    She needs to do some exercises..
    To the point of where she can
    Almost deny entry..
    And control tightness for
    Several minutes at a time.
    And the man can do some
    Jelq/pump ect.

  2. Hi Susan. I greatly respect and appreciate your advice and expertise. Thank you for all of the help you’ve provided to me and all of your other readers.

    I noticed all of your suggestions centered around the husband’s actions.
    Would it also be valuable to address the woman’s side of the equation? Maybe the wife has let her appearance go, which would diminish her husband’s libido and likelihood of ejaculation during sex. Since they’re getting older, perhaps her vagina has stretched and/or atrophied some. Maybe having children also contributed to this.

    If she doesn’t exercise and/or have a healthy diet to maintain her health and appearance, then she might want to consider making improvements in that area. If she doesn’t do anything to intentionally tighten her vaginal muscles, then she might want to consider doing kegal exercises or using a Jade Egg.

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