I just received an email from Florence, who has severe pain from intercourse.
Check out her email and my response below.
BLOOM AT HOME
“Hi, Susan.
I married when I was 27. I’m now 53. My husband and I have had relationship problems like many others. We have had intimacy problems big time.
About ten years ago, I had laparoscopy surgery for painful periods, supposedly caused by endometriosis. This was the 2nd laparoscopy surgery I had for this problem.
Anyway, after I healed up, the first time we had sex hurt so bad I had to stop. I thought it was because of the surgery. But I was healed, so it didn’t make sense. So I went to my GYN, and she said I needed dilators daily because my muscles were tight.
I had two young adopted kids, so I didn’t follow her instructions. Looking back, I don’t think we had had sex for a very long time. My husband is a sweetheart, but we were not paying attention to each other. He started turning more and more to porn—eventually, even cyber sex. I knew about it but stuck my head in the sand. It’s complicated.
I came very close to ending things with us. But we decided to stay together. We both want to make it work. Sometimes I’m doing all the work. I’ve completely changed. I have lost 45 pounds. I still want to lose 30 more. I’m still self-conscious. I don’t let him see me naked, standing up before him. I want to wear lingerie for him, but I want to lose more weight first. I’m eating better than ever. I know he wants to please me but doesn’t know how.
We are going to start working on your Relationship Magic. Reading your material, I realize my pain is probably mostly from vaginal atrophy. Funny, no doctors have ever mentioned this. The first time we had sex three months ago, I cannot explain the pain. I can’t believe it would hurt so bad. I’m trying to take lots of omegas and oils. I plan to try the Vfit you recommend.
Before I saw your emails on the Vfit, I bought myself a magnetic dilator. I’ve been using this every day for about six weeks. We can have sex now, but I still have quite a bit of deep pain though it’s getting better. I don’t know if the dilator is working because we had worked up to having sex before I started using it. But I think the pain has decreased since the first occurrence three months ago.
The original reason for this email is that I saw your video on “Intercourse pain after childbirth.” Though I have not had children naturally, I wonder if I may have scarring from the endometriosis causing deep pain. In this video, you talked about the man doing a massage on her scarring. I know about cesarean scars, but can you do that on the inside too? Will that massage work no matter the cause of the scarring? Thanks for all your knowledge and research.”
— Florence (not her real name)
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Hi Florence,
I love that you’ve started on Relationship Magic.
That’s precisely the first step in the right direction for your situation.
First, let go of worrying about your body. It will always look flawed. Take your pleasure. If a negative thought invades your mind, change the radio station to KLUV. The insecurity will go away.
Start masturbating. I recommend the
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Bringing blood to your pelvis from masturbation may help heal the atrophy until you can afford the VFit home vaginal restoration device.
Keep using your dilators, but try to let your husband learn to get up deep into your vaginal canal to massage the scar tissue manually. Have him use tight-fitting nitrile gloves to keep it smooth and clean as he rubs where you tell him it feels good. Your body will want different things on different days. This is an excellent way to re-establish intimate communication and get in tune with each other.
Continue taking your Omegas and fish oil daily. Consider Nitric Oxide. At 54, you have half the ability to move your blood around your body as you did when you were 20.
FLOW is our nitric oxide supplement with organic fruit and vegetables that helps bring blood to your whole body, including your pelvic bowl.
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Have your husband take two capsules a day if he’s willing. Healthy blood flow is beneficial for a man’s sexual health.
Between FLOW, the masturbation, and his manual massages, you should be able to see some improvement. Give it 30 days of consistent attention, and email me an update.
The VFit will be a fantastic addition to your healing when ready.
Keep me posted!
All the excellent recommended products in this email are in one place. Check them out.
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