Choosing The Right Sex Toy For You

I wrote this for Bustle.com and thought you’d like to see it. I often ask this question by men for their wives and girlfriends as by women themselves. I’m glad to see men wanting to treat their women with sex toys. Encouraging women to masturbate and incorporating sex toys into lovemaking increases pleasure in myriad ways:

The more orgasms you have, the easier it is to come. Sex toys help you come more confidently and more often.

The more you self-pleasure, the more you want sex. Sex is good for you and increases your mental and physical health.

Incorporating sex toys into lovemaking increases overall orgasmic satisfaction. You get more orgasms, which makes sex even more pleasurable.

Sex toys don’t “wear out your clitoris.” If they do, you must turn down the vibration to a lower setting and allow your nervous system time to recover. 

You don’t get dependent on sex toys to come. Sex toys expand your orgasmic capacity.

Using sex toys during partnered sex isn’t “cheating.” It’s additive to the pleasure you can create through body parts.

Using different sex toys helps your body learn to come in more ways. There are toys for clitoral pleasuring, vaginal pleasuring, G-Spot pleasuring, anal pleasuring, etc.

 Choose the most suitable sex toy.

1. Should you invest in a more expensive sex toy?
2. Why or why not? 
3. What advice would you give people shopping for toys on a budget?

The only kind of sex toy in which to invest in a quality brand such as

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because that’s the only way to ensure the materials used are non-toxic to your body. 

They will have motors and parts that last.

The phthalates and plasticizers used in cheap sex toys introduce hormone disruptors and toxins into your mucosal tissues. Moreover, these cheap materials can cause pain, itching, burning, weeping, and wounding of delicate genital tissues. It’s best to purchase healthy toys from quality manufacturers.

These toys are HEALTHY. Even better, MysteryVibe’s products are made to help with genital medical issues. Doctors recommend them.

Look in your bedside drawer. Now look in your shoe closet. Which brings you more joy? A new tool for pleasure or another pair of shoes?

Every vulva owner should consider having eight different kinds of toys for cross-training: 

1) A dual motor vibrator internal + external toy like the Lady Bi or Miss Bi by Fun Factory. This toy stimulates the external clitoris, the internal G-Spot, and the anterior fornix, bringing blood flow to the inner and outer vulva. Blood flow increases sensation and enhances orgasmic pleasure. Masturbating several times a week improves your orgasmic function and makes partnered sex more pleasurable.

2) A G-Spot toy such as the Kurve by Hot Octopuss for awakening the urethral erectile system. We have three erectile systems in the vulva: the clitoral structure, the urethral stricture (G-Area), and the perineal structure between the vagina and rectum. Stimulating the G-area or urethral sponge significantly enhances orgasmic pleasure and leads to the release of female ejaculation. All women can ejaculate, just like our male-bodied partners. Achieving this liquid bliss is a birthright we all have available. The Kurve has a soft tip for G-Spot awakening and dual motors — a treble for an excellent buzzy feeling and a bass for a deep rumble.

3) A Womanizer clitoral stimulator uses airflow to suckle the clitoral glans and shaft. The Womanizer Duo is a dual vibrator that simultaneously pleasures the G-Spot with vibration while using airflow for clitoral pleasure.

4) A Wand from FunFactory called the VIM is OUTSTANDING for stimulating the outer vulva, including the labia majora and the mons. A large vibrator such as the VIM can deliver the most vibration in sex toys and bring blood flow to the clitoral structure from around the vaginal opening. Getting all this external tissue engorged increases the overall orgasmic pleasure for oral sex and erotic genital massage. 

5) Thrusters are great for women who need to activate their vagina. It’s excellent for orgasmic intercourse training, too.

6) Bullet vibes are great for clitoral buzzy pleasure and excellent during intercourse with their small profile. If you don’t yet orgasm from intercourse, try a bullet.

7) For many women, lickers are their go-to toy for clitoral orgasms. This is a good choice for a woman who can’t come reliably.

8) Dildos for when you just want to get filled up more than usual. 

All eight types and various tools are at orgasmiccrosstraining.com. Start filling up your toy box.

If you’re on a budget, I recommend the Tango X bullet vibe from WeVibe as your single go-to vibrator. It’s a potent vibrator that you can use for clitoral masturbation that is small enough to fit between you and a partner during intercourse for additional stimulation during sex.  It’s also small enough to deliver clitoral vibration while your partner goes down on you. And it’s fun to lie back against your partner and have them pleasure your breasts while you masturbate with the Tango X.

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