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RHD Month 1 – "Trust, Honesty and Listening" A Dialog with Otto Collins

Each month you get additional content that will help you recreate the intimacy and sensuality you want in your relationship. The subject matter is staged such that, in a perfect world, you’re getting the right next piece of expert advice to help you continue to make progress in warming up your woman sexually exactly when you need it.

By now you have likely read about the 4 Elements of Revival and have listened to some or all of the dozen interviews with my experts in Revive Her Drive.

This month, you might need to talk to your lady about your current state of affairs and to help you have that conversation, I’ve selected Otto Collins of LightHerUp.com because to me, he’s one of the very best and most experienced experts in how a husband communicates with his wife in a way that is supporting and progressive without being confrontational or overwhelming to her.

Susie and Otto Collins

Susan and Otto Collins are relationship coaches, soul mates, spiritual and life partners, who are committed to helping people like you improve your life and your relationships.

You will learn how to communicate and connect with your woman in such a way that she can’t help but open her mind, heart and body to you.


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Otto, and his wife, Suzie are the authors of these well-positioned, perceptive programs including, “No More Jealousy,” “Magic Relationship Words,” “Should You Stay or Should You Go,” and “Restart the Spark,” “Crash Course in Communicating With Women,” “Relationship Trust Turn Around,” and “Stop Talking On Eggshells.”

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In this excellent interview, chock full of actionable ideas, we talk about “Trust, Honesty and Listening.”

Otto and I focus solely on men and your struggles to have open conversations about sexual issues with your lady.

Included are dialogues about:

  • The hallmark of a couple who communicates well: Honesty, Acceptance, Fair Play, Willingness to Apologize and the No Blame Diet.
  • Trust. What happens when you can’t trust what your partner is telling you?
  • Immature communication behavior – how do you set your boundaries when your partner doesn’t “fight fairly?”
  • Coping mechanisms for men who feel like their woman’s natural verbal articulate nature puts you at a disadvantage in emotional conversations.
  • Common strategies women use to manipulate you and get out of really discussing an issue and how these strategies backfire on her.
  • Good “rules” for communicating fairly and compassionately.
  • How to set your intentions in a masculine manner.
  • How to stay centered and present to what is happening in a conversation or fight.
  • How to say what’s “real and true” for you.
  • How to make her feel “listened to” and “communicated with” in a way that satisfies her.
  • How to posit your alternate opinion gracefully when you disagree with her.

Listen to this conversation and post below any insights or epiphanies you have and share them with us. If you have questions for Otto, email me and I’ll get him to answer them for you. susanb@personallifemedia.net

With love,
Susan Bratton

2 Comments

  1. My very dear lady—Suz,
    You asked me to read “Trust, Honesty and Listening,” tell my impressions of it and give you my action plan. Well, here is my progress report. I have only read half of it so far, but this is hot!
    I am not certain who needs to be praised most—Collins or the wonderful lady called Bratton! My vote is actually for Bratton. Suz, this lady is absolutely amazing. Her interviewing skills are a wonder! And even more, every time I email her, she replies after taking my every through with the utmost serious regard. Thanks.
    Well, by noon yesterday I had gotten through the first 10 pages. I like the insightful points that especially invoked my interest such as “communication is the way to develop emotional connection—that language is a huge part.” Then, the point got very personal. It is not putting her needs first but you need to deal with both at the same time. I have been willfully denying myself to make sure I handle her needs. That has made me into a “good boy.” Thinking about becoming vulnerable and telling my story is huge. I have denied that all our married life. As you have shown, it is being totally honest. I am so guilty of “getting caught up in stories in my head that has nothing to do with the truth.” That explains why I get stuck with emotion instead of facts. By the end of page 10—with “So check in with yourself and really see what it is that you want” caused me to tell my wife at noon: “I have a plan for you tonight.” She replied, “You mean with our grandchildren?” “No,” not that at all!” I simply let her know I was going after her tonight without saying any more.
    Other important points include an attack on my way of operating, that is, what is going on in my head—my guesses are not true. I need to say that what we need to talk about is important to our relationship. Well, you know the stuff I have been facing.
    Last night, after returning from an engagement—it was around 9:00, my wife did not turn on the TV. That alone was shocking. When I was off to prepare for going to bed, she did her kitchen clean up. She has to have everything perfect before she goes to bed. When she arrived, she said, “It is so good to get to bed early for a change.” When she finally got to bed, I told her: “I know how thrilled you are to get to bed early to rest. So, as much as I wanted to make love to you, I have decided that we can do that so other time.” She replied, “I bet you feel like that will be a year away!” “Yes, it feels like that. Don’t you know how long it has been since we have made love? It has been a month.” She responded, “I know it has been a long time!”
    Then my wife began talking about her family background. I could tell she would be up an hour or two talking so I stopped her talking by a couple of passionate kisses and headed for an attack. She said, “I’m okay with this as long as you don’t take two hours.” Now this is what you need to get! I told her, “If you would get aroused and hot, I know there is no way I could ever make it for two hours.” I positioned for a missionary entrance when she attempted to put me in! She cried that it was painful. I told her if she would allow me to warm her up, she wouldn’t be having that pain! But she was able to go ahead. The next few moments were amazing. Her nipples became hard! She tilted her hips for a great welcome in. I thought, “I got to go slow,” but with her wild hand movements, she drew me into her wildness. How can a woman geat really juicy in only a minute? Shortly I was done! “How long was that?”I asked. “Five minutes!” she commented as he looked at the clock to calculate the start and finish times.
    Then my wife returned to talking. I became inattentive and she said, “I thought you liked to talk?” I refocused and gave her some active listening. “Why are you so willing stay up and talk well into the night and not be that way sexual?” I asked. “I get curious about things,” she replied adding, “Maybe we need to get rid of Netflex because when I start a movie, I have to stay with it to the end! All I want now is to watch the Civil War series by Kenneth Burns.”
    We talked an hour—then off I went to sleep. She got up and I woke in an hour to find her at the computer tracing down her family tree. She discovered that her people actually came from Daniel Boone!
    My action plan:

    Every time I receive an email from someone associated with you, I feel like those things can never be part of my life. It leaves me frustrated and like I am being cheated! Well now, learning so quickly the value of good communication, I have decided to make my dreams come true. I always speak with good sanctified words. But I can think of no other way to say this than to say what I am planning now! I am going to be fucking and sucking my wife in all kinds of ways. I am going to turn her into a pleasure machine. She is going to love doing lots of things. I heard you Susan! “Yes, dear, I will go easy!”
    I have been suffering from a poor erection. I woke at 4 o’clock this morning to a stone hard penis! Feeling she is hungry sexually makes me firm and sure. I am aware that I need to develop my “bad boy” life with her!
    Thanks so for some optimism. Some time doing the last few hours my wife mentioned that no one will be in our home tonight! She must have a story she is saying. I can only know about that by being open and talking about.
    Oh yes, I have the rest of the paper to read.
    Thanks sweet woman,
    Roger

  2. This stuff is GOLD! Otto Collins is the man. I now have some great insite on how to communicate on a more level playing field. I’m married. 17 years.
    I’ve been in a sexless marriage for almost 2 years now and after going through the RHD material multiple times and realizing what I need to do to revive her drive I’m starting to see a bit of a turnaround. Last week I confronted my wife, very calmly I might add. I asked her if it would kill her if we had sex. Well she blew up. She asked me.. Why is sex so important to you? And all I wanted to talk about was sex. She literally screamed at me to stop it and she said she didn’t want to talk about it. I calmly said, honey I’m trying to have a peaceful conversation with you and I’d appreciate if you didn’t talk to me that way. I then let her know that I refuse to participate in a sexless marriage. That was the end of the conversation.
    So just this morning after waking I rollover and begin some sensual rubbing and I’m met with zero resistance. Much to my surprise I’m able to remove her pants and go down on her. I felt like a school boy, filled with excitement. Then only after maybe 5 short minutes she stops me and says ok, that’s enough! Normally I would be crushed by this rejection but having gotten as far as I did I kind of felt like progress was made. I put her pants back on and got ready for work, kissed her goodbye, told her I love her just as I do every morning.

    Thank you…

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