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The Oral Sex SOLUTION: "How You Can Make Her Want To Give You Oral Sex."

The Oral Sex SOLUTION: "How You Can Make Her Want To Give You Oral Sex."

In the post below you will find out:

  • Not getting enough oral sex is a problem for many people.
  • It is possible to turn your lover around and have them actually love and want to give you oral sex.
  • These are the likely reasons she doesn’t yet like oral sex.
  • Here’s what you can do.
  • Here’s how to talk to her.
  • Here’s a script of exactly what to say and the key steps you MUST take to be successful.

This is the solution:

Question: My problem is that my wife is not sexually active, though she loves me a lot.

How can I make my wife want to give me a blow job? As well improve my sex life?

Like you suggest, I have tried talking it out, but in vain.

I want her to give me oral sex, but she refuses it.

She says she does not feel like having oral sex…

On further instigation she just says that she does not like and that’s it.

I love to give her oral sex and not only that but I spend a good time just relaxing her body by massaging (as a part of foreplay) and she loves what I do and always wants me to do the same.

I try to give clitoral orgasm, G spot orgasm also stimulate PS spot (which she loves the most) but never get anything in return… :(

Should I stop giving her what she is asking unless she gives me? (But again it will be my loss as I will loose opportunity of having sex!)

We both are 34 yrs old and from India. We met in college and have been together for nearly 20 years and have a young daughter.

Am I asking too much from her? I love her a lot.

I have been reading all your newsletters and I think they are really superb!

Answer: Thank you for asking about “how to get my wife to have oral sex.” This is one of the most common questions I receive.

THIS IS WHAT’S RIGHT:
You should continue to fill your woman up with pleasure and lead her into even more. Your job is to expand her life, open her to each beautiful moment, lead her into joy.

Taking away anything will destroy the relationship you’ve worked hard to build.

CONSIDERING HER BODY:
When you stimulate her clitoris and around and inside her vagina, does she have orgasms? Or are you doing the stimulation but she’s not having reliable orgasms?

If she’s not yet having consistent orgasms, that’s a reason why she’s not motivated to want to put your penis in her mouth – desire to give a man oral sex naturally occurs when she feels very safe and very turned on.

Once a woman is sexually satisfied and feels safe and encouraged by her lover she will abandon herself to her body’s natural desires.

One of the wonders that happens as she blossoms sexually is that she wants to close the energetic circuit between you both.

This comes from kissing while making love. The connection also comes from enjoying your manhood in her mouth while you’re pleasuring her luscious womanly parts to your mutual orgasmic delight.

WHY ISN’T SHE LIKE THIS NOW?:
If limiting beliefs, fears and/or lack of experience (the 3 most common reasons) are holding her back from desiring all kinds of sexual experiences, then removing or fixing what’s causing those issues will allow her body to naturally desire you in her mouth as it’s a primal desire. Oral sex is intrinsic to humans, but that desire gets covered up by emotional or physical pain, fear or upset.

If she’s not telling you specifically why she’s not interested in oral sex, I’d talk more with her about it. You may have to gently help her access her beliefs and feelings and get clear herself about why oral sex has not interested her thus far in her life. Especially in light of how important it is to you.

HOW TO TALK TO HER ABOUT YOUR DESIRE FOR ORAL SEX:
I’ve written below a “script” for you to personalize and say to your wife below – you will need to get the gist of this and say it the way you speak to your wife. Please don’t write or email this to her. You must integrate this into your approach and speak directly from your heart. It’s your willingness to be vulnerable with her that lowers her guard and opens her up to a willingness to tell you her true thoughts.

And please, don’t omit the steps outlined below the script. Don’t pluck out of this just the parts you want to use, use this in toto, as it’s meant to convey love, acceptance, openness while still setting the boundary that oral sex is something important enough to you that you are willing to have one or many uncomfortable conversations to find a winning solution together.

“My darling, I love to give you pleasure, and I want our sex life to keep getting better and better as I know it can. I have a deep desire to have the closeness, intimacy and satisfaction of having you truly enjoy pleasuring my penis inside your mouth and with your hands.

I want to know all the reasons why giving me oral sex doesn’t appeal to you or why you are not interested. I can only guess at reasons, and I want to know what is true for you. Tell me everything. There is nothing you can say that will hurt my feelings, I will not take it personally because I know it is what is really true for you and that is what I care about, making you happy and making us happy together.

Please tell me your beliefs about oral, did someone tell you it’s bad? Please tell me your fears about oral. Are you afraid you don’t know what to do? Do I need to trim my pubic hair or are there any personal hygiene issues you need to tell me about? Do you think you have to do it until I ejaculate and you are afraid of the semen? What is oral sex in your mind and what parts of it are not pleasurable about it when you think of it?

I truly want to find a way to bring you such pleasure and make you feel so good and so relaxed and so turned on that you WANT to put me in your mouth.

What I don’t want to do is pressure you, upset you, or make you worried or fearful.

Men and woman around the world for eternity have been enjoying this kind of sexual union and I would like to see how we can move toward a path of creating that for ourselves.

I am not in a hurry. I love you. And it’s something that ultimately, I want you to want to do with me, for me, to me. I do not want to force you or for you to feel it’s your duty. But I do want to tell you, with all honesty, that having the experience of willing oral sex is very important to me and brings me sadness and a feeling of lack and scarcity because I don’t have it in my life.

Let’s talk through these questions and please feel free to tell me the whole truth of your thinking. I want to understand where you are on this. And I adore you, my precious wife.”

The Steps To Ask Your Wife For Oral Sex:

  • State your love for her.
  • State your desire to have a great sex life with her.
  • Tell her you desire to have oral sex.
  • Ask her what her beliefs and fears are about oral sex.
  • Ask her to be specific.
  • Tell her you promise not to take it personally. (Remember, she’d feel that way about any lover, it’s not about YOU, it’s about her experiences, beliefs and fears.) Be a man and handle the information without making it a negative about you or she won’t trust that she can tell you her truth and you will shut her down.
  • Put your full attention on her and sit with her and touch her while she’s telling you. Be very patient. Keep asking her, “What else? Is that all?”
  • Explain that you want to find a path to having her desire to suckle you and you will think about all she’s said.
  • Once you understand her objections, you can educate her, remove obstacles that block her, find compromises and do whatever would make her feel comfortable taking a very slow journey together to experiment with oral sex. Begin-as-beginners together and enjoy what ever small progress you both make.

Real Story Of A Typical Mistake Guys Make

Sam wrote to me about his wife not wanting to have oral sex with him because of the “taste.” I recommended he simply not ejaculate when she was giving him oral. He responded that he wasn’t ejaculating and she still didn’t want to do it. When I asked him why, he said, “Well I guess its the taste of pre-cum (this I cannot avoid, as it starts oozing when I am excited) …

I still need to talk with her but I think it more psychological than physiological, must be the feeling of “slimy” and the sight of my penis could be one of the major factors of her negativity :(

When I talked to her, she said the “penis” is not what excites her, instead it is my broad chest and shoulders.

Now how do I make her like the taste of my pre-cum (the fluid which lubricates my penis)?”

My Answer To Sam

Hi Sam,

You are guessing. Guessing is not effective at all, since you will have absolutely NO idea what her true feelings are. They will likely surprise you. The only way to know is to ask. You think it’s the taste of your pre-cum. You think she thinks your penis must feel slimy. You think she doesn’t like the look of your penis.

When women are uneducated and inexperienced they are afraid of things.

Exposure in small amounts over time will alleviate her fear.

You must ease into it. First, talk to her. Find out what she really thinks. Help her get in touch with her feelings by being supportive and wide open to what ever is true for her. Ask her questions like this:

  • What is holding you back from oral sex?
  • Is part of your holding back coming from something that happened in the past?
  • Is part of your holding back coming from feelings of not knowing what to do?
  • Is part of your holding back coming from things you’ve heard authority figures (spiritual leaders, community, family, friends) say that has made you afraid?
  • Is part of your holding back coming from a reaction to my body, to my penis, to my actions?

Just keep asking her these kinds of questions. It’s likely there are a number of reasons why she shies away from wanting to touch or suckle your penis.

When she answers, go deeper to get underneath her answer.

For example, if she says she’s afraid to give you oral sex because her mother told her it was dirty, ask her if she holds the same views as her mother about sex and why she hasn’t made her own decisions about what’s right for her, instead of what she’s been told.

I’ll be she wants to have a sensual, sexually charged and positive relationship with you, even if her mother never had one with her father. Does she?

If so, are those beliefs she’s taken for granted holding her back from the intimacy she would like to have with you? Are her limiting beliefs not serving her? (Note: One of the modules in Revive Her Drive is with Morty Lefkoe about how to change limiting beliefs of your partners and yourself. This is very beneficial in establishing new beliefs that suit you, instead of beliefs that have been instilled by others.)

What does she secretly believe as her true feelings, if she removes her mother’s opinion?

Deconstruct what she says further to get the best understanding of her beliefs.

Once you are both on the same page with regard to her beliefs, you’ll be able to work around, fix or compromise to support her needs and yours.

You won’t make any progress guessing. You’ll simply confuse the situation more.

Time for a heart to heart talk about not only oral sex, but your whole sex life with her.

You have one life to live together. Make it a transcendent, emotionally and spiritually uplifting experience of a true love bond for both of you.

You are the leader. Lead her to more sexual expression of the love you share.

The likely reasons she’s not interested in giving you oral sex are:

She doesn’t know what to do.
How long to lick, how to suck, what to do with her hands, how to manufacture enough spit to keep it sliding… If she has no experience, how would she know!?! Tell her what you want.

She has fears about your penis.
She’s afraid you’ll push into her and gag her. She’s afraid you’ll ejaculate in her mouth and she doesn’t want to taste your semen. (this goes away over time as a woman gets turned on by oral) It doesn’t stay hard and she feels like a failure. Your pubic hair is scratchy and long. (whack it back!) Your penis smells funny to her. (wash really well with lots of soap and rinse even more to remove soap taste) Again, who knows what her reasons are. Ask her.

Her beliefs hold her back.
She believes oral sex is dirty or something about which to be ashamed. She believes only a slut likes putting a penis in her mouth. She believes oral sex is unnatural. Oral sex goes against her religious beliefs. She had a bad past experience that soured her. Find out exactly what was awful about that experience for her and help her work around or get over those memories by co-creating what you two truly want in your sexual connection.

Editor’s Note: Just so you are clear, I believe oral sex is completely natural and a beautiful, sensual experience a couple can enjoy their whole lives.  I believe that women who live a turned-on life, love all kinds of experiences to connect to passion, including oral sex.  I have had not-s0-awesome oral sex experiences, mostly due to my own personal ignorance and lack of experience. In my religion, oral sex is valued and appreciated as a way a man and woman can express their love for themselves and each other. — Susan Bratton

The Solution To Make Your Woman WANT To Give You Oral Sex:

If she doesn’t know what to do, show her.

If she has fears, solve them.

If beliefs hold her back, give her rational information to update her limiting beliefs.

You can see that all three areas of resistance to oral sex boil down to lack of EDUCATION and need for CONVERSATION.

To get to the heart of the matter, you must get to her heart and mind.
Once that is clear, her body’s natural wisdom will take over.

Please let me know how you do each step of the way.

And remember…  Take nothing personally. And love, love, love her like crazy!
She is a sweet woman in your care. She is your precious angel. Treat her as such and the world of pleasure will continue to open for you both.

With love,
Susan Bratton

Download our eBook for FREE to know more.

22 Comments

  1. Wow !! The blog is really awesome…

    Appreciate your immense knowledge on the subject and the way you handle the subject with such detailing, its commendable.

    I am sure, most of the men will be with me on this that ‘Men who care for their partner and want to give her everything are helpless in giving because they are unaware of the complexicity of women’s emotions and how to deal with it.

    But with your immense knowledge on the subject, many will be benefited … :)

  2. The problem I have is similar to the original poster. I’ve talked about it with her, and what she tells me is she REALLY doesn’t like the “salty” taste. She says it really bothers her and there’s no way she can enjoy it.

    Do you have any advice for that?

    • Hi Sk8,
      When you say your lover doesn’t like the “salty taste,” I imagine you mean she does not like the taste of your ejaculate. Your penis has no flavor, especially because I’m expecting that you are scrupulously clean and rinsed and fresh from a shower every time you ask your woman for oral sex. So, if the “salty taste” to which she’s referring is your ejaculate, then don’t ejaculate when she gives you oral sex. Just enjoy the stimulation and sensation but refrain from coming when she’s going down on you.
      Control your ejaculation and create a bridge of trust. If she doesn’t like the flavor of your ejaculate now, she well could in a year or two once she trusts that you won’t come in her mouth and she gets some experience giving you oral pleasure first. Remember to take baby steps with her and give her a lot of appreciation so you two can escalate your arousal together over time.
      If she likes you to give her oral pleasure, you can introduce 69 (simultaneous oral pleasuring) and give her orgasms while she has you in her mouth. That will turn her body on and make her more open to you having an orgasm at the same time.
      Also, if you can’t control your ejaculate, try this program to learn “ejaculatory choice” so she can be sure you won’t come in her mouth. Destin Gerek discusses that whole world of ejaculation and performance, what he calls ejaculatory choice rather than control or mastery and how men can use relaxation to help them achieve a climax.
      You can warn her, have her finish you off to orgasm by hand and that will help her get used to the smell and look and feel of your ejaculate too. Let me know if this is helpful.

      • I just added this additional information on problems with “taste.”

        Real Story Of A Typical Mistake Guys Make

        Sam wrote to me about his wife not wanting to have oral sex with him because of the “taste.” I recommended he simply not ejaculate when she was giving him oral. He responded that he wasn’t ejaculating and she still didn’t want to do it. When I asked him why, he said, “Well I guess its the taste of pre-cum (this I cannot avoid, as it starts oozing when I am excited) …

        I still need to talk with her but I think it more psychological than physiological, must be the feeling of “slimy” and the sight of my penis could be one of the major factors of her negativity :(

        When I talked to her, she said the “penis” is not what excites her, instead it is my broad chest and shoulders.

        Now how do I make her like the taste of my pre-cum (the fluid which lubricates my penis)?”

        My Answer To Sam

        Hi Sam,

        You are guessing. Guessing is not effective at all, since you will have absolutely NO idea what her true feelings are. They will likely surprise you. The only way to know is to ask. You think it’s the taste of your pre-cum. You think she thinks your penis must feel slimy. You think she doesn’t like the look of your penis.

        When women are uneducated and inexperienced they are afraid of things.

        Exposure in small amounts over time will alleviate her fear.

        You must ease into it. First, talk to her. Find out what she really thinks. Help her get in touch with her feelings by being supportive and wide open to what ever is true for her. Ask her questions like this:

        What is holding you back from oral sex?
        Is part of your holding back coming from something that happened in the past?
        Is part of your holding back coming from feelings of not knowing what to do?
        Is part of your holding back coming from things you’ve heard authority figures (spiritual leaders, community, family, friends) say that has made you afraid?
        Is part of your holding back coming from a reaction to my body, to my penis, to my actions?

        Just keep asking her these kinds of questions. It’s likely there are a number of reasons why she shies away from wanting to touch or suckle your penis.

        When she answers, go deeper to get underneath her answer.

        For example, if she says she’s afraid to give you oral sex because her mother told her it was dirty, ask her if she holds the same views as her mother about sex and why she hasn’t made her own decisions about what’s right for her, instead of what she’s been told.

        I’ll be she wants to have a sensual, sexually charged and positive relationship with you, even if her mother never had one with her father. Does she?

        If so, are those beliefs she’s taken for granted holding her back from the intimacy she would like to have with you? Are her limiting beliefs not serving her? (Note: One of the modules in Revive Her Drive is with Morty Lefkoe about how to change limiting beliefs of your partners and yourself. This is very beneficial in establishing new beliefs that suit you, instead of beliefs that have been instilled by others.)

        What does she secretly believe as her true feelings, if she removes her mother’s opinion?

        Deconstruct what she says further to get the best understanding of her beliefs.

        Once you are both on the same page with regard to her beliefs, you’ll be able to work around, fix or compromise to support her needs and yours.

        You won’t make any progress guessing. You’ll simply confuse the situation more.

        Time for a heart to heart talk about not only oral sex, but your whole sex life with her.

        You have one life to live together. Make it a transcendent, emotionally and spiritually uplifting experience of a true love bond for both of you.

        You are the leader. Lead her to more sexual expression of the love you share.

        • UPDATE

          Sam replied to me again:

          Ok, I did discuss with my wife, she said its the taste that freaks her out and no I don’t ejaculate.. Its the pre-cum taste, also on my persistent (but very honestly and romantically asking her) she said the smell too…

          Now to be honest with you, I am very conscious about the smell myself, so I normally wash my penis thoroughly. So I am still wondering with that answer.

          Regarding the authority figure or her mom telling her about blow-job, she said ‘no’ nothing of that sort has happened. Ok, I remember this one time just after couple of months after our marriage on asking her about her views about oral sex, she said ‘No girl likes to taste penis. Its only shown in porn and due to which men asks for it but in reality no one likes it..’ And asking how she can back her statement, she said she has friends who got married and they all too don’t like putting it in their mouth.

          Well she has promised to try and improve on it, but this is quite dis-heartening to know that she will just try to help, and not because she wants it.
          If all this is set in her mind, I don’t have option other than keep on trying and talking and convincing to change her mind but this all will take eternity, how can it be done fast?

          U have always maintained that I should always make her feel the love and care.. But it really becomes difficult for me to keep up a smiling face when she bluntly says ‘NO’ and turns down my need

          I really need some super technique that will change our lives.

          My response:

          You are doing a great job getting information out of your wife. There is progress happening here – do not get discouraged!

          Her friends told her it’s yucky. She equates oral sex with porn stars. She gets freaked out by the natural secretions and smells of your body.

          Start there. Those are the limiting beliefs she’s shared with you.

          Being disheartened isn’t going to get you where you want to be. So man up and get positive and put on your problem-solving hat.
          Keep talking to her, keep educating her. This is a lack of experience and education you’re dealing with. It’s completely fixable.

          Many, many everyday regular women love oral sex – it’s not just porn stars – and porn, though it’s sensationalized, is still rooted in basic human desire, so if it’s in porn, it’s a core desire, that’s what makes porn so evocative to all humans.

          When there’s a fear, exposure to the fear helps minimize it. The more you can have her fondle your penis, touch it, even take “3 little licks” without expecting more, the more she’ll start to become comfortable.

          http://members.personallifemedia.com/?p=8330 <=== More info on 3 little licks strategy

          If she's only going by what her friends think and say, instead of experiencing life for herself, open her up to her own thinking. Does she want to limit herself to what her friends tell her? Or does she want to have a sexy, satisfying erotic sex life with her husband where she can feel totally free to have new experiences and try new things?

          The "super technique" you need is compassion/patience/conversation.

          Bullying her with your anger and withdrawal is a surefire way to make your sex life worse.

          Sharing your desires and working through her fears and ignorance with patience and giving her examples that negate her beliefs is the path to passion.

          Keep talking to her.

          Make sure that you are setting up ways she can win, ways you can reward her, ways you can give her plenty of orgasms to sexually satisfy her, turn her on to a level of arousal where she can imagine that it would feed her desire to have you in her mouth.

          I'd really suggest you purchase the Seduction Trilogy. This shows you how to make her small offers that she can say yes to, instead of big offers like oral sex, which will turn her off. It also shows you how to train her sexually, how to lead her, open her to her sensuality, how to talk to her about your needs.

          Report back and let me know your progress.

          Love,
          Suz

      • don’t ejaculate during a blowjob ?
        Is that like not letting the air into the lungs ?

        you can get a blow job on the side of the penis during orgasm.

        trade her in on a new model.

  3. I have some other things you might try…

    Pineapple or pomegranate or passion fruit juice (Or all three!).. and lots and lots of water; drink all you can hold for a few days, then see if your odor or taste changes. My girl says I don’t have that salty “icky” taste, and that is one of the things I do for HER (and myself — she says I am delicious – really makes ME feel good too). I make it a point to tell her that I do this for her – and that builds anticipation.. She LOVES to go down on me (not so with the other partners in her former life – really hated it).

    Other foods that can help are celery hearts (boosts ejaculate), bananas, fresh grapes (for circulation), raw almonds and roasted pumpkin seeds.. the latter two contain a lot of zinc, which boosts your testosterone levels. Kiss her lips often, and tell her that you love to kiss her, love HER taste… that transfers testosterone to her, and may (should) increase her passion for you. Also learn to send her to the moon with oral on her.. tease her and make sure she is very warmed up before you even THINK of penetration (or even touching her most sensitive erogenous zones), even if she begs you for you inside her. TEASE TEASE TEASE.. go slowly. stretch it out.. get her HOT and hungry for you. Women are like volume controls, men are more like light switches.. take advantage of that… Crank her up to steamy.

    I have found that showing a woman that you are focused on loving HER, and not just what you can get at the moment can make even really good sex AMAZING.

    Best of luck to all of you.

  4. Hi,

    I’ve been experiencing the same problem.
    I love oral sex, as well giving as receiving.
    I’ve made that very clear to her through long talks (about the same as your script, asking her what keeps her from doing it), but although she says her views changed, I don’t see any change.
    She believe(d)(s) that oral sex is humiliating for a woman, and pretends she doesn’t enjoy oral sex on her too. But she always comes very strongly when I convince her. And always thank me a lot afterwards for convincing her.
    But I still have to convince her for getting oral sex or giving me.
    Talking about it has become a big no-go, since every single time she says I should have kept quite, and give her the time to give it to me without being reminded (she then feels pressured, or at least says so) but I go months without making any reference to want to get oral sex from her (which is very hard for me since I like it A LOT and we talk about anything else freely).

    So I can’t talk about it anymore, not even tell her how good she is at it and how much I long for it. Cannot ask her anything about it, and if I’m lucky I get one for my birthday or something. Which takes all pleasure away from it.

    What do I do now?

    Kind regards

  5. MAM I also very much interested to take oral sex frOM my wife but frOM last 14 year i didnot get any responce frOM her .she also doesnot LIKE touch my pennis .i have given her clitories orgm .but she say she does not like to take pennis in mouth i fr INDIA PL SHOULD I GO FR EXTRAMARRITAL AFFAIRS PL GIVE SOLUTION UR ARTICLE ARE VERY INFORMATIVE

    • Bhai Mahendra …I m Also from the india …But we r from india ….So Leave these things …..

  6. I’ve been reading how nutritious carrots are. Thinking about buying a juicer to drink about 16 oz’s three times a day. Does anyone know whether this would have an effect on the taste of my semen? If so, would that be a positive or negative effect? With my lady, though, I think I need to help her “know what to do”. I’ve tasted it by kissing afterward, and I can’t imagine she cares for the flavor.
    Susan, do you have a recommendation to educate myself and her on the art of Felacio ???

  7. The issue with my wife and lack of oral sex ( or sex period ) stems from the fact that the last relationship she had before we were married was a FWB/ fuck-buddy ( please excuse the language ) situation where she wanted more from it and he didnt. She specifically told me that she could never say “no” to him when it came to sex or especially BJ’s, which he loved getting from her and she loved giving him since it pleased him so much. She has never given me one, and when I try to talk to her about it she just says ” I’ll give you one when I want to and I dont want to and never will if you ask” This applies to sex too… she has no problem telling me no. She says she just isnt interested in sex and that it shouldnt be a big part of marriage… :( She has even suggested I should just go find some other woman to have sex with. I dont want another woman but am almost at the point where this marriage is not what I want to be in any more… :(

    • Your wife is clearly cheating on you.

  8. I just tell my wife, if she doesn’t give me oral sex, then I have permission to get one from the massage parlour

  9. I would love to learn how to give great head. I am just beginning to transition in to being a women . I want to get good at it. My fantasy is to give head to two men . Switching off and let them cum in my mouth and simply enjoy it

  10. Thanks in support of sharing such a pleasant thought, post is nice, thats why i have read it completely

  11. You guys are so funny. I agree that for the most part, women don’t enjoy giving blowjobs and the ones that do have likely been guilted, conditioned, hypnotised or paid well.

    I do give my husband bjs, but believe me, it’s a gift. There is nothing pleasant about having that salty, nasty tasting jaw breaker down my throat.

    Lucky for my husband, I can act.

  12. i have been to alot of sites about this subject and i am convinced that all of these sites are created by women. i have tryed and done everything they have said, and when i ask my wife its always the same answer. so saying that its not the men doing something wrong its women trying to control men.

  13. Your article is very informative. My wife doesn’t want to give me oral sex, and when I ask why not, she days she thinks it’s “gross.” When I ask her why it’s gross, she won’t say much, just that it’s “gross.” However, there have been a couple of times when she has kissed my penis-once when we were playing and she accidentally hurt me, and I told her she should “kiss it & make ti better,” which she did, and did so for a few minutes until she said her mouth was getting tired, and again in a similar situation, but that time I joked that she hurt me and she started kissing it like the first time. How can I get her to do this more often, and what advice do you have for convincing her that oral sex isn’t “gross?”

  14. i used to go from amazing blowjobs from one girlfriend to another. i took them for granted how efortlessly i got blowjobs. now been maried for 10 years, not one good bj. i have read 100s of post. so far the only thing i am sure of is that i will not be getting a blowjob from her in my lifetime. its a life of torment as devorse is not optional

  15. I have never given a bj nor do I have a desire to. My reason is that I would start to think about how many vaginas that that penis has been in and how many other women have sucked it before me. Also I would worry about what if I have children and i would want to kiss my children. I dont think I could if i was putting that thing in my mouth. My concern is, what if i meet a guy and he wants that but i am just not willing. I want to know how important oral sex is to a guy because that could be a major deal breaker for me and future relationships.( if i ever get the desire to date that is)

    • Hi Ari,
      I think you should either be honest with any potential man that you are unwilling to ever give him oral sex so that he doesn’t feel like you trapped him in a relationship without him knowing that agreeing to be your partner means no oral for life.
      Or you could reconsider your ill feelings about the penis and become curious about why so many women and men love the intimacy and pleasure of oral sex. Perhaps there’s something you’re overlooking? Perhaps getting more educated about a man’s penis, having more experience touching, smelling, looking at and even tasting a freshly showered penis might help you move from revulsion to enjoyment?
      With Respect,
      Susan

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