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“No Sex With A Man For 10 Years. HELP!”

Hi Susan

I am a 51-year-old female who started HRT 3 months ago and has not had sex with a man in over ten years. I would like to be intimate with someone again, but I am afraid it may hurt. I don’t believe I have vaginal dryness – I masturbate to keep the fluids going, and I keep up with my kegels daily. But I think I may need internal stimulation to make sure I’m ready for a penis.

Are there any vibrators you recommend for internal use for a newbie like me?


P.S. I have only used a vibrator for clitoral stimulation.

Yes! That is an excellent question.

I recommend Lady, Miss Bi, Kurve, Big Boss, or Stronic.

All are linked here:

And the ones that are winners of my Quiet Vibe awards are asterisked*.

Miss Bi – I like it has both internal and external stimulators. It seems short, which might be better for me as I’m nervous about penetrating after so many years of no sex.

Stronic – I liked it has a thrusting motion, which sounds like it may prepare me for sex with a man. I am currently in the very early phases of getting to know a man who is much, much younger than I am. He has told me he does not have the largest penis and that, occasionally, he suffers from ED. Now, regardless of how small or big he is, I feel I need to get familiar with the thrusting action again because if we become intimate, I don’t want it to hurt. The only issue with this one is that some reviews said it hurt, and they had to use a lot of lube.

Kurve – I love that it’s quiet, and the material sounds soft. The price point is perfect and reasonable, too.

Can you provide any further guidance out of those three? I thought this was easier! 🙂

Thank you so much, Susan!


Hi Maria,

Based on your vaginal atrophy, I recommend you get the VSculpt in Canada, which is a red light therapy medical device made to thicken and reverse the vaginal atrophy. It has a warmth that increases collagen in the vagina, thickening the thinning tissue. It also has a vibration for toning the vaginal muscles. 

I’d add in vaginal estrogen therapy. Get a prescription from your doctor. 

And I’d use the FORIA CBD Melts (Promo code SUSAN20) inside your vagina for healing and lubrication.

That is all medical remediation of your vulva.

For activating pleasure and improving orgasmic response, I recommend you masturbate daily or as frequently as you can bring yourself to. The Kurve is my choice for you. It has a very soft tip. You can control the thrusting speed. You can pleasure your external vulva and internal vagina both with the Kurve. The buttons are EASY. There is a buzzy motor called The Treble. And a rumbly motor called The Bass. Press the power button, then press the plus buttons, and the Treble and Bass motors will turn on at whatever speed you want.

Use a TON of lube! All FORIA. My Pleasure Protocol (Use promo code SUSAN for 10% off plus free shipping) is a synergistic set of intimacy ingredients. First, start with the Awaken Arousal Oil on your outer vulva. Then add a Vagina Melt inside for more lubrication. Add The Sex Oil on top as needed for lots of wetness.

Over time, as you reverse the atrophy with the estrogen and VSculpt and then you awaken all of your tissues with the Kurve masturbation, you’re going to be juicier and more turned on than ever.

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