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Giving Head, Blow Jobs, Oral Pleasuring: Why Women LOVE It

Giving Head, Blow Jobs, Oral Pleasuring: Why Women LOVE It

Most conversations about blow jobs center around not getting them enough.  Today I want to explain to you what’s in it for the woman.

Why would a woman desire her man’s penis in her mouth? What is her motivation? What does it feel like for her? How does she feel about herself for loving to pleasure a man with her mouth, tongue, lips, throat, fingers all at the same time? How does oral sex get more and more turned on and blissed out? How can she make herself orgasm from giving YOU oral sex?

I’ll tell you.

Sure, some women give their man a blow job just to make him happy. If that’s the only kind of oral sex you’ve received, I want you to know that there are women that absolutely LOVE to suckle a man’s penis.

Believe it.

And you can open your woman to the pleasures of bringing sensation to that end of her “hollow flute.” Her throat and mouth are just the other end of the central channel that runs from her kisser to her genitals. To reach the level of experience where she’s “into it. . .”  Where she’s comfortable loving your manhood with every aspect of her mouth.  Where she gets so turned on being intimate with you that she is called. . . literally impelled to snatch up “The King”  and start going at it.

I’ll tell you how to bypass the you-lick-me-and-I’ll-lick-you-back exchange.

And get to where she actually desires your cock in her mouth.

Any woman can gain the confidence that comes with experience. . .  simply by practicing. If you can guide her, tell her what you like, her confidence will increase, knowing she’s doing what you like. The more you tell her what feels good, the more she feels confident she’s pleasuring you. And that makes it a “win” for her.

Women get performance anxiety too.

I heartily recommend you read this book, Blow By Blow, by my trusted friend, Michael Webb. It gives excellent technique details and will how you how to tell your lady what you might like. She needs your direction to feel comfortable that she’s doing a good job.

Recommended: Blow By Blow

Recommended: Blow By Blow

Letting her know what you like and what feels good as she’s doing it is enough to get her started on enjoying herself again.  If your woman has never given you oral sex, you have to begin-as-a-beginner with her. Read my Oral Sex Solution blog post to learn what to do to get her to give you oral sex for the first time. I wrote this free ebook about 8 months ago and it’s getting the number one spot on Google!

Oral Sex Solution

You will need to ask her to give you oral that morning and then get your penis out that night and ask her if she’d be willing to just do 3 little licks. (“3 Little Licks” is my Hubby’s Sneaky Trick.)  Once she is giving you head, you gotta tell her everything you love about it, moan and groan and thank her profusely — we call it “puppy skill building.” Think of it like training a puppy. Give the puppy praise and treats.

Hey, we all need puppy skill building.

I promised to tell you WHY we women for whom giving oral sex is as much of an erotic, orgasmic experience as getting it.  I admit for me, giving head is better than getting eaten.  (For those of you who think, based on saying this, that I have just never had oral sex as good as YOU can give it — think again. I have.)

I can only tell you what I know. I can only describe what I’ve experienced. When you consider women are like snoflakes, you can imagine all the billions of permutations that turn woman on.

I know that for me right now, I’m really enjoying the growth that I feel that I’m getting from my oral sex practice.

Almost every time I give my man oral sex, I learn something new about myself. I feel that blow jobs have opened me almost as much as my Expanded Orgasm practice. It’s a different kind of opening, Expanded Orgasm taught me how to really feel my clitoris and my labia, my G-area… I discovered so many sweet spots in my Yoni as I became more engorged, more alive from my Expanded Orgasm practice with my husband.

Oral sex didn’t effect what I feel in my genitals as much as it created a new kind of orgasmic pleasure for me. Oral sex added to the kinds of orgasms that I could experience. I had previously learned to enjoy clitoral, vaginal, G-Spot, perineal, body gasms, kissing gasms. . . but when I started getting really good at oral sex, enjoying it and wanting that penis further and further down my throat. Feeling myself getting more and more turned on as I pushed his cock deeper into my throat. I did this very slowly over time. In the beginning I would just take the tip of his cock and later the top third of his cock into my mouth. Now, maybe four year later, each time that I have oral sex, which is every time I have sex, I want his cock way down deep inside my throat.

What I found is that I can have as great a series of orgasms, and I have pretty great orgasms, by having his cock in my mouth as I can by having his penis in my vagina.

Oh, just as an aside, I’m sorry about the words that make you uncomfortable in this blog post. It’s really hard to find any words that everyone’s comfortable with that don’t sound like Dick and Jane first grade silliness. So just embrace every word and we will do our best.

I really surrender myself to the sensations of how his cock feels on my lips and tongue.

Long strokes, short strokes.  I like sucking, licking, circling, overlapping, doing pretty much anything that I can think up in the moment is what I like. I’ve gone way beyond technique. I’m in the place now where I just make stuff up as I go along and it’s awesome.

That’s what confidence gives you. The ability to let go and surrender to whatever just feels really good that you want to do with his cock in your mouth.

I like just to give oral sex and I also like to do 69. I find that I can lose myself more when I’m just giving, instead of having to worry about receiving. The way I found it works best in 69 is to not worry so much about having orgasms in my vagina while I’m also getting off in my oral experience. Instead I just focus on having orgasms in my mouth. Because what happens is that sometimes they are so intense, that I actually ejaculate down below while I’m orgasming in my mouth.  Stimulating my mouth, lips, tongue and throat also make my vulva orgasm.

In many Tantric sex books a woman’s alimentary system is likened to a hollow, or bamboo flute. There are a whole series of sphincters in her body, from her mouth to her duodenal sphincter, all the way down through to her vaginal opening, or introitus. Each of these, I learned from Sheri Winston, move in lock step. When one opens, they all open. So when a woman gets turned on giving oral sex, it also opens her introitus.

I thought to myself, “How can I connect my mouth and my pussy>” “How can I have that incredible feeling all the way up and down?” The “bamboo flute” analogy was another reason I was drawn to explore the potential of oral sex.

I realized there was massive upside potential in my body for pleasure and my orgasms continue, to this day, to get better and better constantly. I remembered that I learned over time, through my Expanded Orgasm practice and just getting better at lovemaking through practice could make my pussy feel more and more sensation. I knew that I could make my throat and my mouth feel more and more pleasure just by practicing oral sex.

I’m getting ahead of myself.

I didn’t used to like to give oral sex. It took too long. I didn’t like the ejaculate in my mouth. Oral sex felt like a chore.

But through this exploration, a switched was flipped me. And it can be flipped in any woman, if the conditions are right. And the two components are that it takes are to establish a safe way she can practice and gain confidence. And then give her positive, specific feedback and appreciation.. And then you have to invite her to do it with you. To be willing for her to learn slowly and positively.

So now you know why it’s a benefit for a woman to want to give a man oral pleasure.

Because sucking his penis can make her have orgasms.

But that’s not the only reason.

It’s very intimate. What could be closer than two people with their genitals in each other’s mouths? That’s really opening to each other. Which is a beautiful thing. Something so earthy and human is one of the best pleasures in life. So she has orgasms and it connects her to someone else for brief time.

Another reason that she loves to give blow jobs is because it can really get her turned on. There’s something about actually admitting to yourself and your man that you  get off when he’s in your mouth. It’s kind of slutty. That’s probably a cultural thing. But it feels good when it’s safe to be slutty with your man. It brings a woman out of herself. It makes her feel like a goddess.

Feeling like a goddess is really important to a woman, and in an upcoming blog post we’re going to tell you why.

I promised to tell you what it feels like for her to give you oral sex.

There are a couple of things I want to tell you about. The first is what it feels like in her mouth. The second is what it feels like all over her body. And the third is what feels like in her brain and her mind and her heart. When you’re giving a man a blow job, a really good blow job, you’re not really thinking much in your mind and your heart is just wide open.

So first I’ll tell you what it feels like in my mouth, because that’s the only thing I can tell you.

The very first thing you should know is that it’s awesome to start with a soft penis. Don’t feel like you have to be giant and hard for your woman to give you a blow job. One of the pleasures of suckling a man’s cock is actually taking it from flaccid to hard very slowly.

It’s such an amazing thing to see how your penis gets hard. And then to experience that as part of an oral sensation is really divine. It’s truly an honor. And every time I do it I’m in awe.

It’s also wonderful to feel the texture when a man’s penis goes from soft to hard. It’s a little more dry in the beginning, of course. And as a woman’s saliva becomes more lively from doing all of this work, and as your penis stiffens, it gets slicker and slicker.

I personally like to hold a man’s penis in my mouth and just rest it there and then suck it long and slowly in and out. I like to use a lot of variety. I try all kinds of moves. I’m constantly moving and changing it up. Two or three of this, a lick on that, one or two of these sucks, then I try something new again. It feels really good when you can just let yourself go. When you’re mindless. When you’re not thinking about what you’re doing in any way. But instead you’re just feeling your way through your desire.

Again this comes with practice.

There are the kinds of strokes that are longer and deeper, shorter and smoother, long licks up the shaft, ball tickling with fingers. The variety is endless. But it’s really good each time your woman is doing something particularly delicious to you to tell her that you love it in the moment.

Then you can tell her afterward some other things that you loved about what she was doing. Dr. Patti calls this, “Sharing Frames.” This is quintessential puppy skill building. And it makes your lovership HOT.

Spit.

Saliva is a whole world unto its self.

When I first start giving oral sex, I don’t have very much saliva.

But as I let go, relax and enjoy myself, I notice that my saliva starts to build up. Over time my saliva goes through lots of different viscosities and even colors. Sometimes I’ll give my husband oral sex for 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes. I go as long as my knees hold out sometimes. And during that time I notice that my spit does all kinds of weird things. Sometimes it’s foamy and white. Sometimes it’s really clear, long and stringy like raw egg white. Sometimes when I’m orgasmic from oral sex, my throat is actually having some kind of release of saliva or ejaculate of some sort.  I believe my throat ejaculates when I get really turned on from oral sex and it’s making me orgasm.

You might be laughing at me right now. But remember, I’m a sex nerd.  I pay attention to everything. I track my progress  And notice when I’ve grown.

I recently took some time just to have inward self-reflection about where I am in my sexual maturation. I wanted to know what my next steps were, sexually speaking. So everything I am telling you here is from the perspective of a woman who is actively pursuing her sexual growth.

Please don’t expect your woman to be like this. I had a decision to make when I planned this article. I could dumb it down for you and tell you a few simple things. The simple things that everyone else tells you. How to lick this or that. But ultimately the best thing I can do for you, the highest service I can give you, is to tell you where you can go. If I was nota sexual champion, if I didn’t push myself and keep a keen eye on my sexual awakening, how can I share with you the path that lies ahead?

Go easy on yourself. Go easy on her. Remember what Dr. Patti says. Just focus on bringing pleasure into her life. This is the key. Make her feel good about any progress that she makes. Reward her. Hug her. Love her.

Download our FREE eBook below to discover more lovemaking ideas.

29 Comments

  1. It’s a very good topic for us men, to know. Very interesting. From my experienced, it’s exactly what we both felt, at the very moment. The feeling and experienced of both of us coming, at the same time, was undescribable. as a man, I felt as if my penis was just sucked by a vacuum cleaner. As for her, the feeling of all her fluids are all over my face from the way I give her oral. All I can say is this, it’s a feeling of giving and receiving pleasure, humanely possible. Till next time.

  2. Dear Susan,
    Until I read your article, I thought I was imposing on my wife when I wanted Oral.I am so happy to know woman enjoys just as much.Please help me me on one more account.That is locating and sensitizing her G spot, a difficult process.She kept directing my finger into a right hole.Thank you so much on educating dumb men like myself.You are not only beautiful but also an expert in this area.Your husband is SO lucky to have a woman like you as a wife.

    • Hi Richard,
      This free ebook has explicit photos of engorged vulvas and shows you where the G-Spot is.
      Female Genitalia: Anatomy & Engorgement.
      Susan

      • Hello Susan

        I have had sex four times with one of my friend. She did not allow me to touch her G-Spot as she said that it feels like paining whenever I touch her G-spot. She used to say Please ejaculate as soon as possible as a result I was not able to bring her to her orgasm.

  3. How refreshing beautiful it was to receive your words on ORAL with your man. How fortunate he has U in his life. If only I could get a woman 4 that, would be like winning the lottery. Some do and some don’t so I say so what. Though 2 me it is one of the best and healthy forms of love making both persons can have 4 each other. The cum is full of protien as is the love juice of the Vag being down on her. I just love the bush diving practise.
    I would love to send this artile to several of my women contacts
    Will U give permission Sloane ? Your Col always waiting 4 U xxxxx

  4. Amazing to read what u have said I never thought of the feelings
    you describe. My wife died 4 years ago and we nevr exployed this
    way of making love and now I am too old at 79 to have a lover I think I have missed something worthwhile. Thanks

    • NEVER too old, Alanbrient! Was with a 73 year old with several disease processes who hadn’t had sex since his wife died 20 years before. He thought he was done until I came along. He had a full erection for the first time in many years and ejaculated–was so surprised, he thought he wet himself.

  5. The description you give for Blow Job is realistic and I tried it. It ‘s wonderful. But I have a long way to arrive to admit to my lover your philosophy of sex which is the “life”. Thank you very much.

  6. Hi honey listen A neighbor of mine ask me to give her the place to go to find a classes or info on giving her husband a good blow job ok . what is the site i should give her. I want to give her the infomation. Thanks Bob

  7. As a female who like you stated is a “sex nerd” too, I must admit your advice is spectacular. I love to lick his lolly pop all day long, & find my mouth watering at even the LMFAO song, “Can You Blow My Whistle Baby”, because I know with great confidence I can blow more than that.
    Thank you for putting this out there. Women should have a means to enjoy any sexual experience, and in my opinion it opens up a new unspoken language. Every pulse, moan, groan etc. a man makes during the process stimulates desire to explore every venue to elicit more of that response. Least we not forget his cock remembers, and if your good he will think about you before all others when he is aroused. Thanks for the share :)

  8. Thank you so much for being and sharing YOU & your life experience!
    Blessings & aloha
    Sky

  9. I am English and not American; and I know our language’s use of correctly grammatical english is different. Having said that, for me…: there are a few typos or missed words in the narrative. But please believe me, I absolutely LOVED your communication style – Open, positive, frank [exactly the right mix of 'socially acceptable' 'unmistakable jargon' and how in the privacy of our own minds, the words most of us prefer to speak]. Also, your emotion, AND realistically good sense and empathy, were really really, really good. I applaud your intention and the place you’re coming from; and I applaud your ‘further place…’ developmental interests. I believe this article will do a lot for womens’ [and mens'] confidence, and ultimate ‘out into the cosmos’ pleasure. THANK YOU (and you can say that a few times) for writing it; and I say this not just from me, but as if I were a spokesman from all of mankind, both now and for as long as humans exist. R

    • Hi Richard,
      Thank you so much! Our hearts are singing. And if you can spot those typos again, I’ll ask Sloane to correct them.
      Much Love!

  10. I smile at the typos and inarticulateness of my bit just submitted !! …but do let’s keep smiling,..and -as you say – doing our best. R

  11. I’m sure I am not the only man on here who appreciates your candor and sharing your personal sexual experiences with us. It’s a pretty gutsy thing you do. I imagine a lot of men don’t know how to ask their wives and girlfriends for what they want and consequently don’t ask or just as bad, give poor instructions for getting what they want leaving both of them unfulfilled and less than satisfied. Which brings me to ask, how about sharing some recommendations on good technique for giving good oral sex that we can share with our partners. We understand all partners are different but there must be some universal “truths” that apply to everyone. For example, how does she get past the “gag reflex?” What technique will enable her take a man in her mouth and throat when there is more penile shaft to go deeper inside her mouth? I’m an average guy (6″) which gets in about two-thirds of my length. Like a lot of guys I have seen porn videos where the woman can accommodate twice that length. How do the do that? It’s amazing.

    • Hi Jim,
      OK. I’ll talk to Sloane, Patti and Tallulah and get some good ideas from the girls and post an article on how to take a man deeper than just the tip.
      Thanks for the ideas!
      Susan

    • What is the big idea in getting the full length to go to the throat? once your partner is willing and enjoys as you are, then the ultimate satisfaction to both is accomplished.As a matter of fact,there are partners who fail in their actions to prolong a KISS and we are forced to teach them how to react to a kiss.In those circumstances how could we expect a deep throat treatment for mutual satisfaction.

  12. I have used what you refer to as puppy training on my wife for several years, at first she was not real excited about giving head, but over the years she has become the one to initiate it and she seems to really get turned on doing it. Her nipples get hard and she gets really set and when we shift to intercourse it is usually at my suggestion.

    • Yay! I am so pleased to hear that the “puppy skill building” has worked with your wife. Approval, reassurance and rewards are very important to women. It’s SCARY to give head when you aren’t confidence. So building up her confidence is key. Good job, Wesley.
      Susan

  13. My wife has given me three blow jobs in our 7 year relationship. When we first got together, she wanted to please me. Then she did it again. And on the final time she hesitated. Finally, she told me she didn’t like to do it. No matter if I moaned, or stroked her ego. I love to go down on her, and it please me to give oral to a woman. But why on earth she doesn’t I don’t know. Thank you for the info. Doubt it will help. She is not a sexual being but expects me to want to have sex all the time, even if she is not willing to have sex. It has messed with my mind, my self esteem and my overall confidence. Women have a lot of power.

    • Dearest Joe,
      Oh how I feel for you. And I want you to know as frustrating as it is, you are NOT alone. This is very common and if you can get over your frustration and moved toward a solution, then Revive Her Drive can definitely help you turn-around your situation. I designed it exactly for problems like yours.
      Give it a try?
      Warmly,
      Susan

  14. Comment

  15. Confidentially, what about a man who says he doesn’t enjoy giving oral to a woman and never has enjoyed it? Can that ever be changed? He loves to get oral. Can he be enticed or his thinking changed? Let me know, J

  16. alanbrient.
    My comments are directed to you. I am 88 and you are NOT too old for great oral sex giving and receiving. Change your head-restricted thoughts. What the hell is too old?

    I am planing on my 4th marriage soon, and believe me we will suck on each other night and day.
    I can tell you, your age is all in your head.
    Stand up and look to the future. I am going for 130 and sex ala’ PLM will make it easy and fun.
    Matt Donnelly
    She is 37 and has been after me for several years. Fun to be wanted!!!

  17. Good oral sex is the most satisfying feeling in the world, i have always loved to please a woman with my mouth, feel her squirt and orgasm, the taste really turns me on, i have been married for nearly 30 years and i will never bore with pleasing my wife, My wife on the other hand disliked giving oral at first and it is only through trust for me that she does it now and cannot wait to go down on me, she does not like the taste of cum, but boy has she got the art to make me feel wonderful and satisfied, i am quite big and she says she gets jaw ache putting it in her mouth, so now she licks, sucks, nibbles my shaft and sucks my balls into her mouth, whilst tickling my anus and scrotum, the feeling is so intense, it is pure joy, i let her know when i am about to cum and she loves to wank me those last few strokes until i shoot, i love her to bits and basically what im saying is oral sex is not about cumming down your partners throat, its about giving pleasure, and trusting each other, then the enjoyment begins and the more trust the better the experience.

    • Here Here, you are absolutely right. I could not have put it any better myself. Awesome.

  18. Terrific work! That is the type of info that are meant to be shared around the web.
    Shame on the seek engines for not positioning this publish upper!
    Come on over and discuss with my website . Thank
    you =)

  19. Now this is interesting

  20. i would like to be more excited about giving blow jobs, but honestly they do nothing for me sexually. i have tmj and after a few minutes my jaw starts to lock up painfully. i do it because it makes my husband happy (and he says he likes the grumpy pouty faces i make), but really the only time i am interested in giving head is a couple days during the fertile portion of my cycle.

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